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You will need a bucket of dead fish, a $50 iTunes gift card, and Criss Angel's autograph.

Dump the dead fish on the autograph and say "O Great Centaur Spirits, let this gift card appease you!" while holding the iTunes gift card to the sky. Then say, "Make me a mermaid!" and eat 7 of the dead fish. You will either become a centaur, die, or have us laugh at you for even reading this.

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Q: How do you become a Centaur?
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