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Using an example I recently witnessed, a father was asked, after lunch, by his young child if she could go out to play with a friend. He was distracted and unthinkingly simply said, automatically, 'no'. The child could see there was no sensible reason for this, and kept at him for permission to go out. The father, unable to admit he'd been wrong, simply stood his ground. The upshot was, one little girl having tantrums over the sheer unfairness of life and one father wondering how he got into all this. The conflict lasted until bedtime and way beyond and ruined the afternoon and evening. He'd painted himself into a corner. All it needed was a simple, 'Hey, of course you can go out, sorry, I wasn't thinking.' He said she wouldn't respect him if he backed down. She certainly didn't respect him for being stubborn when they both clearly knew he was wrong. The phrase comes from the notion of painting floorboards, working backwards from the doorway and then finding yourself confined to a corner, unable to leave the room until the paint dries. Mindless, arrogant or stubborn reactions achieve this in daily life. I certainly know one little girl who'll simply sneak out next time and thanks to her Dad, it could be a fair while before anybody notices she's missing. And they won't know where she's gone.

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17y ago

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