First: I'm very proud that you realize this and are seeking help. That is a huge step in stopping. Second: You most likely need proffessional counseling. It is usually the only way you can totally stop. You can also have "code word" with your partner that means you are about to "lose it" and she or you need to walk away so you can cool off for a while. That is OK to do. You are comminucating instead of be verbally or physically abusive. My strongest suggestion is to get proffessional help.
The first answer is a very good one, and I agree completely. It is very, very noble that you're recognizing that you may have a problem. Theropy is the way to go.
AnswerSome abusers, regardless of age, do change (especially with the benefit of professional help in therapy, anger management classes, and medication).
Pedophiles are people with a sexual attraction to young children known as pedophilia. As pedophilia is a feeling of sexual attraction and not a behavior, there is no behavior for a pedophilic individual to change unless they are a sexual abuser as well. Experts call such sexual abusers preferential offenders, not pedophiles.
This, actually, is the TYPICAL case. Abusers are constantly in denial. See these: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse4.html http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq73.html Abusers may be in denial of their abusive behavior, however we all have a sense of what is right and wrong behavior. We all have a sense of how we would like to be treated, including abusive people. I believe they know they are "in the wrong," but refuse to accept that. Sadly, many abusers probably were abused themselves and "blame" that as how they are. I don't believe in that trap. I grew up with an alcoholic parent and from a young age said I was not going to be like that because I hated how I felt. God Bless
behavior
Yes, there are therapeutic programs designed specifically for individuals who engage in abusive behavior. These programs often focus on helping abusers understand the roots of their behavior, develop empathy, and learn healthier ways to communicate and manage conflict. However, the effectiveness of therapy can vary, and it typically requires a commitment to change and accountability. It's important that such therapy is approached with caution, as not all programs are equally effective or safe.
Age
Absolutely. Not all abusers are hopeless cases.
If they get psychiatric help, but few do. Abusers have usually been in an environment of abuse and probably have been abused physical/mentally or both in their lives. There are a low percentage that do try and do change. If you are with someone that abuses you it's best to move on. Marcy
Their health may change, so their behavior can change along with that
If they were the abusers and did not get help for their actions, than the pattern will continue. If they did get help, things will change.
Only he alone knows how he feels, but, my guess would be he'd have resentment towards you because in his abusive state towards you (the victim) he does not truly believe he has done anything wrong. Abusers take total control of their victims and they feel that the victim is their property just like their home and car. Jail or prison time does not generally help abusers nor does counseling. The stats are very low that abusers will ever change. Good for you for taking this abusive behavior to the court system and you should be proud of yourself. Marcy
Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers was created in 1984.