How can you help your friend who is in an abusieve relationship?

Answer 1

As long as you confine yourself to legal methods, you can't "prevent" anyone from doing anything.

You can voice an opinion, give advice, or refer to literature. But that's just about the maximum.

There is nothing that a friend can do to prevent someone from going back to the abuser. A good friend can offer books and websites to educate the abused person. Keep the discussion open at any time, when the friend needs it. If the abused person does not want to re-enter the abusive relationship, but does not have the emotional strength to end the relationship completely, then I believe you have an obligation to help the friend end the relationship. Whatever it takes, if he/she allows you to help, then do so. This may entail much sacrifice of time and energy on your part. However, there are some people in life who need help, because they have become too weak to help themselves. If your friend does not resist your assistance, then do not wait for instructions on what to do. Be the leader, and take her/his hand, and help that person walk away emotionally, physically, and legally, if there is no resistance to your help.

Aside from lending an ear when needed and maybe directing your friend to books or sites on abusive relationships (or a professional counsellor and the like), I think it's best NOT to get involved -- unless you are ASKED for help.

I think listening and allowing your friend to go through the emotions is about all you CAN do.

You cannot prevent your friend returning to an abusive relationship. All you can do is be there for support as and when it's needed.

However, I would take care to be diplomatic in relation to the abusive partner, as your friend is likely to go back over and over again until she hits a wall emotionally and cannot take the abuse.

In the likelihood that you denigrate the abusive partner or shame her for returning or anything of that nature, you are likely to lose your friend.

Let her know that your still there for her and that she doesn't need a guy to make her happy.

Answer 2

Just be there for her the best that you can. It is very hard to watch someone you care being hurt but there isn't much you can do to make them leave.

Support your friend in every way that you can. Try not to become angry or frustrated with them because they chose to remain in the relationship. The abuser has a power over them that you can not understand. Suggest they seek counseling. If you are a spiritual person pray for them. Most of all be there when they need you.

This is a tough one. The main thing I've noticed is this: If you are a friend of the victim, the abuser will slowly and surely drive a wedge between you two. It's how the abuser keeps his power. There's not much you can do except tell the victim you are their friend and no matter what, you always will be. And then be there, even if you haven't heard from them in 2 years. Put your feelings aside (no matter what) and have open arms if ever she/he should come to you in need of help.

Most important, don't be judgemental. Accept her as she is. Make clear to her that she remains your friend no matter what she decides and what she does with her relationships. Then tell her openly and frankly what you think and refer her to relevant literature.

Answer 3

That is a hard question and not the easiest thing to deal with, esspecially if your friend thinks it is their fault or that things are not that bad. Talk to them let them hear your concerns. Be adult about it, and avoid making them feel like you are just bashing on the significant other, they can retaliate. Sometimes you can suggest that you watch a movie involving some of the things they are going through. Enough with Jennifer Lopez is a good one. That can help them see it from another persons perspective as being a bystandard and not the one with all the emotional blindness.Make sure you are also understanding, by being demanding that they listen never helps, and the more upset you get twards them the more they are going to defend the other person. Remember you can't make them, but maybe by you coming forward it will give them someone to lean on during the separation. Just to know someone is there to listen can change everything.

You cant convince them. Give her Lundy Bancrofts book, "Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men." Let her read the book in peace. Dont grill her or tell her she "should" anything. Let her gather her own strength and make up her own mind. Tell her her positive qualities and encourage her to make the right decision but do NOT try and control the outcome. Shes had enough control. She will appreciate any advice from you more if you are supportive and not bossy or talking down to her. Best wishes.

Answer 4

Unfortunately in most cases you can't. This person should have made a better attempt at getting help regarding their abusive relationship and either was too brain-washed or lacking self confidence to do so and returned into the relationship. Abused Women's Centers (they also have Abused Men's Programs as well) will help her, but only if she wants that help. A very high percentage of abused women (of all ages; rich or poor; from housewives to career orientated women) can be abused and go back to an abusive relationship. Abused people have been basically brain-washed into believing they aren't good for much and that they can't exist financially or any other way out in society. The abuser will usually segregate the victim from their family and friends and perhaps even take the victim's car away or count the time from the minute they leave the home, to the store and home again. Also abusers can use the children in the relationship as blackmail and the victim hasn't got the strength, doesn't believe she will ever win in a court of law (and often they do if they trust the Abused Women's Center) and therefore the victim may stay out of fear alone. Often the victim has been threatened by her abuser who has threatened to harm her family, kids or her. It wouldn't be the first time an abuser has kept his/her word on this one. You're a good person for caring so if you just need to help this person then get them into counseling ASAP!

Answer 5

If you have a friend that is in a abusive relationship and you notice that, sit down with him and try to talk about to them. Whatever you do, don't try to get into details fast because you gotta remember that they might not be in their right state of mind or not in their comfort zone. Try to talk them into finding help and get them out of the relationship. I'm a victim of this. Please don't let this go on for a long time. I'm 18 and what I went through ruin my life. It took me 3 years to tell anyone and I regret waiting that long. The worst feeling ever is thinking what could of been, or what if I did something about it. You don't wanna wait into something bad happens to take action. Let them know that you love them and what you are doing is for the best. Also, let them know that you care for them. Offer alot of support.

Answer 6

just listen to your friend when she needs you and be there for her /him , i am ending a relstionship with a fuctioning alcholic, he has hit me verbally abused me, etc and really nasty when drunk, he is becoming more violent , but he blames me and its all my fault etc, which is rubbish , when i met him he was a cocaine addict , hes a 45 year old man , and has held his job for 17yrs, and well thought of , etc,as they don't know the real side that i see, ive only been with him for 4 years seems like 20 yrs , and both his ex,s he has abused etc ,and when i met him he blamed them , i have never in my life been with a alcholie or drug user, and its a horrible situaction to be in , as you cant help them , if they don't want to help themself, i now go to alanon and AA meetings to try and understand this , and its helping , but ive made my decision on are relatioinship, it has to end for me to keep my own sanity, I LOVE HIM , BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH HE IS WRAPPED UP IN HIS WORLD OF ALCHOL so much its no good carying on as he doesnt want to give up the drink and have a relationship with me, and be healthy and happy , going to alanon has helped me so much as there is other people out there just like me, as when you are in this life you think it is just you , and its really not............. there is lots of us out there suffering , i do hope this helps someone kind regards