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Hopefully, if you have been dating for a while, the children already know the person you are planning to marry. If they have seen the relationship progress normally they shouldn't be too surprised to find out that you intend to get married. Perhaps everyone could sit down to a dinner together and you could start out by saying, "Kids, we have an announcment."
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SteveThere shouldn't be a problem with just telling them straight forward, (unless they don't like the person your getting married to)... but if they don't have a problem with the guy then just tell them. If they do have a problem... explain to them why this guy would be perfect for the family and I'm sure they would understand. Invite them to the wedding.
Promise cake, too. Everyone loves cake.
Ensure that the cake is NOT a lie.
Not knowing the cause of your divorce, I must admire your consideration. Most women in your position would not consider an ex's feelings. But no matter how you will announce your plans, your marriage - and I must assume that you have the child - is going to be a painful experience for your ex. I would approach it like this: "I know how much you care for your son/daughter but I have found someone who cares for me. And you must understand that I do not want to be alone. I want to share my life with someone." Continue like this: "Of course, your son/daughter will always be 'your' son/daughter. I would always want you to have a relationship with your son/daughter. But I hope you understand my position. I want a home for our son/daughter that provides him/her with a feeling of security. I hope that you can understand that." Use your own words. But the above should be the thrust of your explanation.
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