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How does one finally leave a verbally abusive relationship when she has no money or place to go a children?
Financial dependence is THE main reason why people (mostly women) stay in abusive relationships. The second most important reason is having common children with the abuser.
This is almost part of an abusive relationship.
It is common for an abuser to deny their spouse all access to money and debit or credit cards too.
The only answer I know is to go to a shelter, which is going to be terrible, but at least it will be a terrible place with some hope in it.
I know people who have left home for a shelter without even a handbag (because they couldn't get all the kids out together unless they left it behind). Someone else who left home with 3 kids, the clothes they stood up in and a 2 year old car.
Be inventive, take what you can. Sabotage your washing machine and take bags of "laundry" to a safe place. Save whatever money you can for as long as you can.
TAKE THE FAMILY CAR...and don't be afraid to fill the trunk with essentials, clothes, linen, pans, small appliances...because pretty soon you are going to have to spend precious money on replacing these things if you don't.
And know for sure, when you are in that shelter, which are often miserable, overcrowded places, that THE ONLY WAY IS UP.
I have had to educate myself. You need a plan. I am close to leaving after 17 years of abuse. I started by opening a bank account of my own, getting a po box, and credit of my own. I also got a storage and have started packing up things and moving stuff when he isn't around. I have taken things that he wouldn't miss..like clothes, pictures..just small stuff. I also started selling stuff on eBay and opened a PayPal account to stash money. I put some stuff in a community auction last weekend and stash 500 bucks. You can have a garage sale to make some money. I work and have a decent job and have a small payroll deduction made to my new bank account. Just be smart and safe in what ever you decide to do.
Buy traveller's cheques. You can have up to $200k without any traceability. If you are a member of AAA. You can get them free. Tell him you are going to an expensive hair dressers and go to a cheap one instead.
Use your fury to gather waht you need. Everytime he makes you mad do something small. It is very empowering. i.ei Copy a birth certificate, copy 10 years worth of tax returns.
What else can I help you with?
After being in a verbally abusive relationship does the victim often become the abuser in her next relationship?
It does often happen that people will learn how to get their way through verbal aggression, from their own experiences of being verbally abused. Life is an endless learning experience, but sometimes people learn the wrong things. Answer I think it COULD happen but I think it would be the exception and not the rule. Victims in these kinds of situations are usually not abusive types of people - that's why they are victims. If it is an adult who grew up in a verbally abusive environment they may be the victim for a while and then finally snap and turn the tables and become the abuser but I think in most circumstances the victim would not become the abuser in the next relationship.
How long does it typically take a victim to finally realize their in abusive relationship?
the typically part depends on the frequency of the abuse.
What to say to the unhappy customers especially verbally abusive?
When dealing with unhappy customers, especially those who are verbally abusive, it's important to remain calm and composed. Acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, "I understand that you're upset, and I want to help resolve this issue." Set a boundary by calmly stating that while you want to assist them, respectful communication is essential for effective problem-solving. Finally, offer to listen to their concerns and work towards a solution together.
My narcissistic ex has become extrememly verbally emotionally abusive to my teenage sons since our divorce a year ago How can you get the courts to finally take this seriously?
talk to a lawyer immediately document, tape record and keep METICULOUS records of each incident, date & time and what is said. do NOT tell him you are doing this.
Why are black men so verbally abusive?
A part of the reason is that Black men don't see their words as verbally abusive. Why? The taunts and teasing involved in "capping" or "playing the dozens" involves quick wit and the ability to talk about someone in a stinging way that is still humorous and makes others laugh. Men often play these word games with other men and they all seem fine with it. However, when those words are turned upon women and said with the intent to bring a woman down, put her in her place, or make her feel small and insignificant, its not funny anymore. I believe the larger reason Black men are verbally abusive is their ongoing struggle with self esteem and feelings of powerlessness. Striking out with name calling, put downs, and words which attack the core of Black women's pride in their accomplishments looks education achievements and sexuality give these verbally abusive men a sense of power. What they are doing is putting others down to build themselves up. Such behavior may provide a temporary sense of satisfaction as he watches her face crumble in shame or humiliation, but in reality he is merely demonstrating how poorly he feels about himself. Finally, I think it is important to note that verbally abusive men come in all sizes, shapes and colors and are not limited to Black men. The issue is though that most women tend to date men of their own ethnicity, and therefore Black women (who interact primarily with Black men) are more likely to be verbally, physically or psychologically abused by a Black man moreso than any other race of man.
How can you leave someone who is abusive?
Leaving a relationship - abusive or not - is not easy. all I can say is it is hard especially if you have kids you have to get to the point where enough is enough and move on try to find something to occupy your time but dont jump into another relatinship because you will need to recover from this one,My son father I was married to was very abusive and I finally left him but it took me 9 years but I can tell you it is a great deal of relief but be careful of your next relationship because if you see the signs then you know to get away from this one before it is too late
How do you overcome emotional trauma of a violent marriage?
I was in an abusive relationship for nearly six years. I married the man 3 1/2 years ago. We have two children together. I finally found the courage to leave him after he tried to kill me, and I thought he would succeed. Not to mention my children witnessed everything. The way I have overcome the emotional trauma is the following ways. 1. I have a support network. This includes counselors, charities, friends, and family. 2. When I left the relationship, I didn't think I needed counseling. Within a few weeks, I finally let go of my "strong woman" shield and went in to see a private counselor. She has helped me understand everything and she's provided me with MANY resources for myself and my children. 3. I keep a journal of how I'm feeling. When I feel confused, I write about it. It helps me sort out any "problem" I may have with the situation. Mainly, staying strong and balanced will help the most. It is incredibly hard to leave an abusive relationship, so having a support network is very important as well.
When the abusive husband is finally found out by his friends does he keep doing it?
Probably. As long as being abusive "works" for him (lets him get on with his normal life) there's really no strong reason for him to stop.
How do you do deal with Obsession with Violence?
"Obsession" is iteslf a violent word. Dealing depends on type of violence. A female co-worker has problems dealing with her abusive husband, who throws things, is verbally abusive and is obssessed with another girl. The guy got this girl after running for foyur years, the she finally said yes. Now he should understand her importance after the chase. Now in this case they should consult a good counseller, before running after a thing, losing its importance after getting it and then finding another muse to chase is s phychological problem.
What is the genre of Finally by Judy Mass?
finally 12 is a mix of drama and children
Would an ex abusive man seek revenge and be mad if you finally got the backbone and humiliated him in public and if you treated him in a patronizing manner?
Anyone abusive or not would get mad if you humilate them in public that only makes you abusive why would you want to be abusive or humilate some one when you know how that feels? GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.The best way to make an abusive person wake up is when you completley dismiss them from your life and not let them have any effect on you what so ever and you are happy and doing well without them.
How do you not go back to abusive husband?
It took me nearly six years to get out of my relationship with my ex-husband. He was incredibly abusive. The only way I've found that I've been able to successively keep myself away from my ex is to make sure I prosecuted him through the court system. I also got a full order of protection (aka restraining order) against him. I finally went through with my divorce. And, I called on all my friends and family for support. There are days I want to just walk right back into the entire situation, but I have to look at what it did to me. In the relationship, I lost myself. Once you rid yourself of an abusive husband, the most important thing is to find YOURSELF again. Once you find yourself, you will find the courage to stay out of his life.
