How many times is a battered woman likely to return to her abuser before she finally leaves him?

Answer 1

Even once is too many times! Abuse in a relationship, whether physical or psychological, is unacceptable at any level and to any degree. She should leave immediately and not return unless, and until, he seeks and undergoes "successful" professional counseling. To others that are not physically/mentally abused the answers seem so simple, but aren't. The abuser is crafty and takes all confident and independence away from this woman. All races, cultural backgrounds, the poor, rich, successful and average person can be caught in an abusive relationship. It has nothing to do with the victim being needy, no confidence, lack of education or lacking guts. Sometimes if there are children involved the abuser can use the children as ransom. Abusers are crafty enough to win their victim over and little by little gain control, so the victim is basically blind-sided. The victim is terrified, and where does she/he go? There are Abused Women's Centers for the victim to go (no returning home once you go there) that will protect her and her children and a counselor that will even go to court with her/him. There are also Abusive groups for men who are abused mentally/physically. The laws in the U.S. and Canada don't protect particularly women to a great degree. In British Columbia the RCMP are working closely with Domestic Abuse. The problem is, unless these women have some place to go (especially when they have children) they often will not press charges against their abuser when the police come to door if the incident was reported by a neighbor. The abuser will usually only be in jail a day or two to cool his heels, but once out the abuse is even worse. In British Columbia the RCMP have the right to arrest a man or woman who is abusive if they are suspicious and place them under arrest, hand-cuff them and put them in jail for a couple of days. Women abusers are more likely to back-off if they are arrested, but males are not likely to back-off. The laws are changing slowly. Women should go to their local Abused Women's Center and if they don't know where it is you can go to your local mental health and they will put you through to the proper channels. The cure is TO GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSER! The victim of abuse needs a lot of counseling to get on her feet. She needs to learn the tools of survival, how to spot another potential abusive mate and to learn she has more strength in herself and more confident than she has realized (because she's been brain-washed.) Once she surfaces to work there are times the abuser can stalk her or at least cause her some problems, but most don't bother and have simply moved on to find another victim. If there are children involved the abuser is more likely to make trouble (not because he/she loves the children) but knows that is the weak point with the victim. This means court and custody set down by the rules of the court system! I would respectfully disagree...the answer really is simple, and it is exactly as Marcy says, "The cure is to Get Away From the Abuser!" What's not so simple is recognizing that one is in an abusive relationship in the first place. Initially, most of us don't want to admit that what we're experiencing amounts to abuse. It's easy to see the problem as a temporary reaction, resulting from external forces such as losing one's job, etc. We're also apt to accept some of the blame for the abusive behavior ourselves and think that if we respond differently, the behavior will change. However, once the reality of an abusive relationship is recognized, either through one's own self awareness, or with the help of others, there is only one solution...and it really is simple. Get away from the abuser.

Answer 2

Answer

On average, victims leave their abusers 12 times before breaking up permanently. Some are far more, while some get out of there right away.

Sadly too many people get caught up in being abused. Do yourself a big favor, dump the person who is abusing you, and get yourself some professional help. There has to be a reason why people like you get involved with these kinds of people in the first place, as abusers don't hide it for long. When they do expose themselves, you feel as though you are in a living hell, you don't know what to do, where to run too. Not a good way to go through life, being abused and staying around for more.

Answer 3

After your abusive partner abuses you once you need to leave. There is no staying around because it won't get any better it only gets worst after you let them abuse you once.