answersLogoWhite

0

I started dating a wonderful girl about 6 months ago. When we started dating, I knew that she was also seeing another guy and I was OK with that, I felt that if things went well between us then it wouldn't matter. After a couple of months, I started to fall in love with her. I told her this and she told me that she thought she was falling in love with me but that she also felt that things were going well really well with this other person and that she was unsure what to do at that point. I knew putting pressure was not a good idea so I let it go for awhile just spending quality time with her and letting things work themselves out. This worked for about a month and then I asked her if she was still seeing the other guy. She said yes (she has always been honest with me about him) and I started to get jealous. I don't fall in love easily at all and really have a lot of optimism about this girl but at that point I started to wonder if I should continue in the relationship. About two months ago I told her that she needed to make up her mind and choose one of us and that I would respect her decision. I felt that neither one of us would have a chance with her until her mind was clear of one of us, she agreed. Around valentines, things kind of came to a head. She still hadn't made her decision, she was still talking to both of us and seeing us both. I got frustrated and told her I didn't want to see her anymore and that she should just go be with the other guy, and I stopped calling her. A few days later she came to me and told me she loved me and not him and that she didn't want to lose me. I told her OK, but that I didn't want to ever hear about the other guy again and that I wanted us to have a legitimate chance. We dated for about two weeks and things were great but then she started to become distant again. I asked what was wrong and she said she still "missed" the other guy and thought about him all the time. I got really upset. I can understand that it is difficult to let someone go who you really care about but she needed to try to let him go and she just couldn't but yet she chose me when I left her. I also think that the somewhat abrupt transition to being my girlfriend after dating two guys and being somewhat free was hard for her. So she told me that she needed "space" to figure what she really wants and I agreed, but she keeps texing me and we have met up a few times out at bars and slept together. I have a hard time telling her no and not answering the phone because I love her but I know the only way to get him out of her head is to probably ignore her for awhile and let her really see what it would be like to lose me. I haven't talked to her or heard from her for two days now. It's refreshing to talk to a guy that thinks about a loving relationship the way you do. It sounds as if you started out a close friends and it's not uncommon for close friends to fall in love because that's basically what marriage is about "your spouse IS your best friend." The first mistake you made was knowing she was seeing this other guy and allowing it. When you love someone and they love you there should be no one else in the picture. It's time to kick butt here. She's a spoiled child and she's having it her own way. She is not considering other's feelings such as yours. Be aware of what she is doing because she's having her cake and eat it too. You are an enabler if you continue on with this relationship. Why would she give up both of you when neither of you young men have given her any ultimatums? Think about that one. She's just simply flipping back and forth. It's wonderful to be kind and understanding, but not when someone can't get their head on straight. If she was serious about "her space and thinking everything over" then she wouldn't see either of you guys. She's spoiled and playing games and a little full of herself! I know love hurts, but sometimes you have to take the risk or you could end up losing a lot of your life waiting for one person. I'd tell her the only way you'd consider giving her "head space" is if she discontinues seeing the other guy as well as you and if she doesn't want to do that then it's over. Start dating other girls and I have no doubt she'll be back within a week. However, I do suggest even though you love her that if she can't make a decision between two guys, then she is going to falter on a lot of things through life, or worse yet go with you for a length of time and go right back to the other guy. You deserve better! Quit being so nice and understanding and start standing up for yourself!

User Avatar

Wiki User

18y ago

What else can I help you with?

Related Questions

Should you give a cheating spouse a second chance?

That depends on you


Should you give your boyfriend a second chance if he broke your trust by going through your phone and emails?

Take the chance, it's not the worst way to break trust.Did you give him any reasons or signs to do suchh a thing? If so thenn give him a second chance, if not, then its not the worst thing in the world, but I would give him second chance.


Should I give her a second chance?

I do not have enough information to answer this question. You will have to give me a name or tell me the details of the situation for this question to answer.


If you really love your wife should you give her a chance if she cheated?

Everyone deserves at least a second chance ... after that, it's curtains for that relationship. Just to say I agree with the above answer, You give them another chance but if it happens again you should divorce.


If my exgirlfriend is with a boy and i still love her and want her back does that mean i dont have the chance to have her back bc she is with someone?

If your ex is with another boy, and you still love her, you may have a chance to win her back. She may have moved on or she may be willing to give your relationship another chance.


If a guy says he wants you and things are different when he's around me and he likes being around me but he's going out w another girl what does that mean should i trust him and giv him a 2chanc?

yes every one deserves a second chance but if you dont like him more than a friend then tell him that but i totaly think u should give him a second chance yes every one deserves a second chance but if you dont like him more than a friend then tell him that but i totaly think u should give him a second chance


What does Medicine Grizzlybear Lake ask the teacher to do for Wind-Wolf?

to give him a second chance


Should you talk to a friend that lied to you a year ago?

It depends if you want to give them a second chance or not. If you want, you can go and talk to them.


What is a good gift for an exgirlfriend on her birthday?

give her your love and a big gift give her your love and a big gift


How do you get the person you love to give you a second chance?

be honest


What do you do when you found out your wife cheated on you?

you should come clean and tell them what you saw if they go strait out you might if you want give him or her a second chance.


What should you do if your girl friend cheats you?

* break up * give her only a second chance * see a movie with a benficial friend * get drunk

Trending Questions
Is keith sweat going with anyone? What does venue mean? What is the quickest way to get a girl to break up woth you? Critical appriciation of bacon's essay of friendship? If when making out with your bf and he wants you to be on top should you even if you're afraid you'll squash him? What to do if a girl in the mall randomly comes up and sits on your lap? How do you ask for a later bedtime? Do girls cheat on guys they love? Who likes most shopping in boys and girls? Where can you find the script for mean girls? What do you do if you find out your guy friend who you are really close to has a crush on you but you have a boyfriend? Why is my heart broken is because who? He knows i like him scinse like forever and a good friend of him told me he liked me back we also just started to hang out we talk on the phone a lot so why doesn't he ask me out? What is the another formal word for together? If a girl holds your hand sits on your lap leans her head on your shoulder practices slow dancing with you and talks dirty does it mean she likes you even though she has a boyfriend and doesn't call? How can you tell if a guy really is in love with you because your boyfriend says he loves you but sometimes you don't know if he really does? If somebody told you to do something but you did not agree how will you handle it? You gave a boy a hug 3 times and each time he blushes and smiled does he like you? Im pretty young and me and my girlfriend just decided to get back together We didnt break up on bad terms But she wants to take this new relationship slow How can i get her to fully trust me? Had the implant in for 4 year should have had it out last year could you still get pregnant?