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I finally found out what my 20 year frustration was all about - being married to a passive-aggressive man. I believe this is a learned behavior - perhaps from the mother. This man did not know how to show anger - I actually thought that I was the luckiest person because he never got mad at me! - He would get quiet and not talk and for years when I asked him what was wrong and he would say "nothing", I actually believed him! Then as time went on, I began to feel crazier and crazier~!! This man never took up for me, he even took up for the dog over me one time! One time a so-called friend of his was sooo rude to him - and he acted like it was perfectly ok - but I was mad about it - see, he didn't have to be mad because he used me for that. I have since found out that he is showing more anger than he used to - perhaps because he is single now and there is noone for him to use. This man would act as if he were going to get me something and then after years of waiting, I finally became upset about it - because each holiday i would think that I was going to get it and I would not. He took our child to a car lot before her birthday - would that not make a child think he was going to get a car for her birthday? - she received it 4 years later! When we would finally get something he promised, he would say "oh, I can't believe you picked that one, because I was going to get you (it would be something better)." One time he cleaned the garage and piled all my things to the ceiling so I couldn't reach them. Oh, well, this marriage ended because he refused to think anything could be wrong with him - he would turn everything around to make it seem as if I had a problem - it was crazy-making!
Passive-aggressive behavior is antisocial behavior that is not overt. For example, purposely speaking in a low voice when you know someone is having trouble hearing you, or drying your hands on your partner's towel when they are not really clean.

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