What should I do my sister threatens to hurt herself if she can't get her way and she will call the cops and lie about being suicidal She's psychologically torturing me and my parents?

Answer 1

Because you are an immediate family member (sister) you do have the right to "section" your sister to a treatment facility if you believe she is in danger of harming herself, or another person. The best way to prove she needs this help is to document her moods with dates, times, and direct quotes of things she has said to you or to others. Gather witnesses to her behavior and ask them if they will appear at court if necessary. While this behavior is, of course, painful and emotionally damaging to you and your family, your sister is clearly in need of some psychiatric help and manipulation is a symptom of many psychiatric disorders, such as bipolar disorder. If she is truly sick, then the treatment mandated by the courts will help her. If she is simply using manipulation to get her way, then perhaps a few days in a psychiatric institution or even just having the police and legal authorities involved will show her that this is NOT the way to get what she wants. Good luck from one who has been on your sister's side of the fence, and gotten well because I was loved by people who wouldn't put up with my behavior any longer!

Of course, the advice above does not apply if you are a minor. Your parents must be the ones to take responsibility for the situation.

Answer 2

Well, you could do a few things:

1. When she gets angry because she can't get her way and calls the police claiming she is suicidal, you could all be quiet until the cops arrive (e.g. ignore her) but when the police arrive, then just agree with her that she's suicidal and tell the police she needs admitted for a psychiatric eval. She might get angry because you / parents took control back, but the cops won't let her act out. PLUS, they won't tolerate any crying wolf-- they will take her to a hospital. And your family should ignore her calls; let her be admitted for 72 hours and let the hospital staff deal with her behavior.
2. Or, at the first sign of acting out, YOU /your parents calmly go ahead and call the police for her threatening suicide. "My sister said she's going to commit suicide.) Again, the police won't mess around with drama. They'll involuntarily commit her if she's still threatening herself. And if instead, she calms down when the police arrive, the cops will likely tell her plainly that they won't put up with repeated threats against herself and that they will hospitalize her if they have to be called again.
3. Or, totally ignore her. IF she later does hurt herself, then you can still call 911 at that point. But if you all are going about your business, and don't play into her drama, she has responsibility for her own behavior. And there should be secondary consequences on her behavior, like if she breaks property, destroys her room, etc.

Don't let her pull your chain! Step out of the power struggle. Do what she doesn't expect, but don't feed into it.

There are national suicide hotlines you, she, or your parents can call for referrals and advice. They can help your family find a counselor for her.

I know you're worried about your parents' health, too. But they need to pick a course of action and agree on how they will handle it. YOU are not responsible to keep the peace in your home OR keep your sister or parents safe. Directly ask your parents to make a plan for how they handle it...so you can do the same thing. But your parents need to 'DO', hon, not you as the sister. You aren't responsible to fix the chaos that starts. You aren't responsible for your sister, whether she acts responsibly or irresponsibly. All you can do is step outside of the drama and chaos.