Why should couples not have children if they aren't married?

Answer 1

First it's the practical angle:

Back in the days, women were expected to care for the home, and men were expected to be out working, bringing home what was needed.

And marriage was seen as the contract when a man promised to provide for the woman.

So from a woman's perspective - as she was expected to stay home - it made sense to get the man to really promise to care for her(and any babies) before having children.

Then there's is the religious angle, where sex w/o being married was declared as "sinful". So they kinda got people both coming and going. Want sex - gotta get married. Want children - gotta have sex - gotta get married to get sex.

Then there's the social angle, where it's considered important that kids have both male and female role models around them, to give them a wider view of human interaction. Again, marriage is the contract where the male promises to stay around.

These days, not all of this apply any more. Women are allowed to work and can provide for themselves. Raising a family on one salary might be harder, but at least you're allowed to make a living.

And trust is trust. Plenty of "proper" marriages end in divorce and cheating anyhow. Odds are a good partner will stay you with married or not, while a cheater will be a cheater, even with wedding vows.

One advantage to marriage is in case of one parent dying. Between married partners, inheritance, custody and all that is properly sorted out. With a more informal arrangements, things sometimes gets tricky.