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Only a fool would want to answer that question with a simple yes or no! Here are three ideas that will help you think about the issue: Zehren♦Friedman Associates has collected data from thousands of men and women that reveal their preferred negotiating styles. There are five styles in all, but the three most interesting are: Defeat: Win at any cost; don’t worry about the other side’s interests or feelings Accommodate: Give in so they will like you and perhaps pay you back in the future Collaborate: Work hard, dig deep, to find a creative solution that is good for both sides Collaborate is the style that produces the best outcomes and the best relationships over time. The good news for women is that they consistently score higher on Collaborate than men do. But women score lower on Defeat and higher on Accommodate than men do, and this may indicate a tendency to give in to pressure and accept a bad proposal from the other side before the hard work of Collaboration even begins. Here’s a second data point: Women apparently do better when they are negotiating as an agent for someone else than they do when negotiating on their own behalf. That’s just one of the interesting insights in an article by two Harvard professors and a Boston consultant entitled When Gender Changes the Negotiation. You’ll find the article at http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/5207.html And here’s a third piece of input: Maybe the issue isn’t so much whether women negotiate as well as men (plenty of evidence says they do) but rather whether they negotiate as often as men. In other words, might women be less inclined to negotiate than men, and more inclined to simply accept what they are first offered? An interesting book co-authored by a professor at Carnegie Mellon University explores this issue. It is “Women Don’t Ask” by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever Princeton University Press So, are men or women better negotiators? Don’t waste your time trying to find a definitive answer. Here’s the important fact: By adding gender sensitivity insights to good solid negotiating skills, men and women can all learn to create better deals and better relationships through better negotiating. by Saket

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18y ago

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