What are the words to Master of the House from Les Miserables?

Answer 1

Welcome monsieur, sit yourself down

and meet the best innkeeper in town.

As for the rest, all of them crooks,

Rooking their guests and crooking the books.

Seldom do you see honest men like me.

A gent of good intent who's content to be

Master of the house, doling out the charm,

ready with a handshake and an open palm.

Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir,

customers appreciate a bon-viveur.

Glad to do a friend a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice.

Nothing gets you nothing, everything has got a little price.

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo,

ready to relieve them of a sou or two.

Watering the wine, making up the weight,

Picking up their knickknacks when they can't see straight.

Everybody loves a landlord, everybody's bosom friend.

I do whatever pleases. Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end?

Master of the house, quick to catch your eye,

never wants a passerby to pass him by.

Servant to the poor, butler to the great,

Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate.

Everybody's boon companion,

everybody's chaperone,

but lock up your valises. Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!

Enter Monsieur, lay down your load.

Unlace your boots, rest from the road.

This weighs a ton, travel's a curse,

but here we strive to lighten your purse.

Here the goose is cooked, here the fat is fried,

And nothing's overlooked 'til I'm satisfied.

Food beyond compare, food beyond belief,

Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef.

Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat,

filling up the sausages with this and that.

Residents are more than welcome,

bridal suite is occupied.

Reasonable charges, plus some little extras on the side.

Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice,

two percent for looking in the mirror twice.

Here a little slice, there a little cut,

three percent for sleeping with the window shut.

When it comes to fixing prices,

there are lots of tricks he knows.

How it all increases, all them bits and pieces,

Jesus! It's amazing how it grows.

Master of the house, quick to catch your eye,

never wants a passerby to pass him by.

Servant to the poor, butler to the great,

comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate.

Everybody's boon companion, gives 'em everything he's got.

Dirty bunch of geezers. Jesus! What a sorry little lot!

I used to dream that I would meet a prince,

but God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?

Master of the house, isn't worth my spit.

Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong shit.

Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire,

thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there.

What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse.

God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!

Master of the house! Master and a half!

Comforter, philosopher...don't make me laugh!

Servant to the poor, butler to the great,

hypocrite and toady and inebriate!

Everybody bless the landlord!

Everybody bless his spouse!

Everybody raise a glass!

Raise it up the Master's ass!

Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!