Why is ben a pnp?

Answer 1

Benjamin James Kitto (21st June 1995-P) was born unto this holy earth a pnp. This was a disaster for his family and friends. His beloved possession, a ugandian knife, presented to him by Kony, had to be replaced with a sharp hulk hand, previously owned by Plunkett. This occasion was greeted by 3 wisemen, and the 1st pnp of the Dynasty era. Many celebrated this birth by gathering outside the barn of the holy pnp spirits. Some who attended and will remain unnamed, claim that the 8th annual pnp gathering (Brussells 09 BC) was based around ben's pnp. It is believed that the sarcred pnp boy, was placed in the middle, while the pnp dynasty members rain danced around him, whilst muttering "bukakke, bukakke, die, die, die!". Ben however, found love. Amy Steer, his partner in crime fell in love with Ben and his taffy nipples and they lived happily in the swamp, throwing slumber parties and reinacting footloose and running half marathons! Halted by injury Ben got bored of Amy, and after 29 children Ben felt the need to fulfil his dream of becoming a gay pornstar, so he sufficated amy by hand and watched her die in his arms. Ben enjoyed playing around with men and their 'elephant trunks'. It had always been an ambition of his since he was advised by the Plunkett. Plunkett, a lesbian herself instructed Ben to watch Scooby-Doo porn, and one thing led to another in the porn world. Ben became a superstar, to the reluctance of his Mother and Sbs. They were dissapointed in him and tragic events followed. His parents later disowned him and both his arms had to be amputated. He was left in care with a wild pinhey and grew up with the pinhey's 'P.I.M.P' lifestyle. His father Steve Kitto ( Sexy Biker Steve) later commited suicide.

Benjamin, continued to be gay. Of course we wish Benjamin luck on his journey through Anus' and the 'Pnp' baton must now be passed on.

The press suggest that Christopher Pinhey or Joe Gilpin are set to claim the main role. We wish them luck and hope that they remain, unpubified throughtout life.

At this time however, we feel Pinhey is in the stronger postion to take the role as Gilpin (Who remains without pubes) enjoys women, especially ones that are young or vulnerable. His hobbies are; fingering them whilst they are unconcious and sending snapchats to every contact even through he looks like a baby covered burnt hair. Gilpin's chances have also been reduced due to the fact that he calls everyone 'shaft'. We are unable to explain the reasoning behind this. But despite 'shaft' being a derogitary term for Penis, we don't think he is gay. Pinhey however, remains a legend in the books of Zamroll (a wiseman present at every dynasty meeting).