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Phobias regarding the loss of a loved one conjures fear and insecurity, and is probably different for each individual and the level of closeness. Grief is inevitable, but what one must consider for positive growth is acceptance that your loved one is in a much better place than you yourself are. The cause of the loss can play a huge role in your recovery; in a sudden automobile accident where you suffer loss the impact is immediate and crushing. I recently lost my 18 year old son in such an accident, but he was on a bicycle and nine days later he was dead. Intense pain for the loss of a child carried in your womb is a devastating blow; an unimaginable loss. My father was forty-one and I was fifteen when he died suddenly without notice from heart failure. A crushing blow to a daddy's girl. Take the example of my mother who lived with bone cancer for four and a half years; a true Horror to watch someone you love shrink, become a caricature of her former self. It was a relief when she left this earth at the age of sixty-two; she looked more peaceful and serene after her passing - one could almost see the visage you held of her before a long and agonizing death. Then, comes guilt, for a brief moment that you could think such a thing, but I held on to the thought that she was no longer in pain.

Of course we mustn't forget anger, anger at God, anger at the seemingly senseless loss, one fact remains. We all die; we are birthed to particular parents that we will eventually lose - some earlier than later. We have families and they have families and there will always be losses. However, with losses come the additions and birth replaces death. Perhaps not the sadness, but over time grief lessens and that person lives on in your heart. Grief counseling is incredible beneficial in private and group settings, as is your place of worship if you do so. Stay active and outdoors as much as possible, and one day on a walk you'll realize that you're coping. One day at a time, sometimes five minutes at a time, but slowly you will get through.

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13y ago

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