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Despite Alekums claims below, the plashooms are members of a secret organisation with many branches throughout this world and beyond. Some of the earliest operations carried out by the plashooms have been attributed to the knights Templar and the Illuminati which has brought the plashooms in to the public spotlight. In order for the society to remain operational it is imperative that we remain anonymous.
We have been persecuted during the last 2000 Millennia for being green....."it's not easy being green" has been quoted by many of our members over the years and such quotes as this one and similar are being seen in the general use in the media relating to "climate change".
We are deeply offended by the allegations of biological association with the haggis as we look nothing like those ugly short haired bandy legged screechers and have in fact been at war with them for over 5 centuries due to a shortage of suitable hills in the Highlands of Scotland, forcing us the seek refuge around the world and beyond. And we don't have shifty eyes, they're just very pale purple which some find off-putting.
We would be happy to hear from the many Plashoom tribes around the world and we can be contacted in the usual ways.
Here are a few lines submitted by Alekum:
" Us Plashooms live a simple life. We work our fields, thinking that it's gonna be alright. Then we get this notice from the government, saying that our land's been restricted. Then things turn bad. Our prayers are never answered. But our crops still die. Eventually, it reaches the point when we can no longer keep the truth from our families. "
We are aware that this is a common folk song, that is sung by a break off sect of the Plashoom family who can be likened to the Amish, the favourite people of human society. They became extremely popular some 5 centuries ago after a disagreement with the Plashoom Higher Council (PHC) over how truly great they were. Some considered an attempt to measure their greatness an act of sacrelege.
Although we have previously asked for Plashoom tribes to get in touch, we would especially want to hear from the particularly great sect aforementioned. We're not their friends, but we really want to be, due to how great they are.
A Plashoom is a small mammal, a close relation of the haggis. It has a roughly spherical body, attached directly to a head with no neck. The head is fairly flat, with two small, shifty-looking eyes on the front, with a flat nose between. They have two pairs of legs, and one leg of each pair is shorter than the other. With males of the species, the shorter side is the left side, and vice versa with females. Biologists theorize that the Plashoom and Haggis both originate from the part of the Eurasian plate of Pangaea that would later become Scotland and Northern Island, and that their differently-sized legs are the result of millennia of evolution on the Scottish highlands and the hill-lands in the north of Ireland. Due to the fact that Plashoom taste horrible, and are mostly inedible, Plashoom have never before been of much interest to man, and are only studied now by biologists who aren't imaginative enough to do anything else. However, Plashoom have been sought by eccentric collectors over the past century, and due to this forced migration of some Plashoom, they have become spread out across the world, and their have been sightings in all of: Devon, England; California, USA; Puebla, Mexico; Zaire, Angola; Red Ruthenia, Poland; and Thrace, Greece.
PLASHOOM is spelt all in capitals not in lower case.
PLASHOOM!!!
