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there are several ways this can happen if you were never married

1st of all there is a putative father registry in every county and every state. IF you suspect or know that your 9(EX or current) significant other is pregnant (even if your not positive it's your child) you register with that woman's name in the registry as soon as possible. Then if the mother attempts to adopt the child to someone else your name will pop up as associated with her pregnancy and they will have to terminate your rights with your involvement. However, if you register and leave details where you can no longer be located and they cannot locate you they are only required to run details in the paper for approx 6 weeks (usually in a more obscure newspaper) and if you do not respond then your rights can be terminated in absentia (without your presence/involvement.) This is VERY important!!! Try to register with details that are unlikely to change (i.e. your parents or grandparents address/phone number or an email you are likely to have for years- since most parents/grandparents/older aunts/uncles are less likely to move around as much as a young person).

Next, the mother can give birth and state that she has no idea who the father is (even if its a lie). If your not regisetered in the putative father registry and she doesn't notify you about the birth of the baby and she refuses to provide the fathers potential name or names then there is no way to contact you if she loses custody, transfers custody to her parents, or other family member in a guardianship proceeding etc...

Also if a mother gets into trouble with child protective services and they remove that child and there is no way to contact the potential father (whether he didn't register, he details are no longer valid, she claims he is deceased, she refuses to identify you, she states she was raped, etc.) and the abuse is severe enough to warrant removal and placement in foster care a care plan is created. The mother then has to meet those conditions in order to get the child back. Sometimes one of her family members or close friends may step up and take custody of the child (once again the first choice if mom can't do it is dad BUT if there is no way to find/contact dad then the next choice is the mom's family: the juvenile court is required to check the registry as is CPS) the court has no choice but to go with the placement of her family in order to remove the child from foster care (which is honestly in no child's best interest unless pre-adoptive). The people whom take placement of the child may be given the option to adopt said child if the mother continues to fail to meet milestones or points on the case plan. IE Mom is addicted to drugs, child wanders out of house in inclement weather dressed inappropriately. Police find child and return to mom, realize mom is in no condition to parent, contact CPS who remove child. CPS creates treatment and family care plan (like get sober, pass drug screens, attend parenting classes etc.) mom continues to fail drug tests, or get sober. Child is placed with mom's family to remove them from foster care. Mom still cannot or will not get sober etc. After 12-18mos the court gives the family who took the child the right to obtain guardianship or adoption (depending on the severity of the moms addictions and inability to maintain sobriety) they can do this on a "fast track" after 6 months if the mother has a previously terminated relationship with a different child. The courts can also place the child in a "pre-adoptive foster placement" which means that the family that will foster the child is willing to adopt them should the parent(s) not be able to complete the family care plan, their are no other suitable family members to place the child with, and/or the father is unknown or unlocatable. One note is that even if you are located as the childs father, if CPS is involved, you will have to undergo background checks and other hurdles in order to get your own child back, CPS will not just hand them over to you.

The moral of the story is register in the putative father registry and if possible find someone that knows the mom that might be willing to keep you updated on whether she has had the child or if she is planning to adopt the child out, etc. etc. don't get confused though there are many other underhanded ways to kick dad permanently out of the picture depending on how much the mom is willing to lie or blatantly hide the truth

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12y ago

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