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There are generally two types of abandonment, when dealing with a spouse in court. The first is considered Willful Abandonment (this might be called something else in your state/location). This is where the spouse has left the domicile in which the couple resides, and does not return. The second is called Constructive Abandonment, where the spouse is not actually involved in the relationship anymore but may still reside in the domicile. Factors for this might vary from state to state, but generally would include lack of intimacy or sex, and lack of participation or performance of any other marital duties and responsibilities (for instance, stops paying bills, etc).

If your spouse has abandoned the relationship, and significant amounts of time have passed (say...5 years or more, for example), then you could file most of the paperwork yourself. You may be required to publish the fact you're seeking divorce in a local publication, such as a newspaper, and with the right filings, can proceed with a divorce without incurring lawyer fees. However, if you are not comfortable or knowledgeable about this process, securing some assistance is recommended.

There are multiple factors involved with abandonment, and usually must be an established time between when the party abandons the relationship or domicile, and when you actually are allowed to file for divorce. In some places, such as Virginia, there is one year time period required. Other states may have different laws. In some jurisdictions, there are also provisions for the spouse returning after the desertion takes place, with guidelines about how to resume the relationship or proceed with divorce.

In conclusion, your best course of action is always going to involve discussing your specific case and circumstances with legal council. They will be more familiar with the laws of your state and will be able to advise you on a proper course of action. Even if you decide to pursue without a lawyer after this point, at least you'll be a bit more prepared for the process.

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