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You need to talk to a lawyer. You should be able to contact a US Army JAG Officer (Lawyer) at a US Army post near you. Be sure to explain that you are the spouse of a US Army service member. The money that servicemembers are allowed for "family separation" is not an entitlement for the family. The money is intended to defray the costs incurred by the servicemember in keeping in contact with family members. The money is not "claimed," it is automatically added to the servicemember's pay if they have dependents or family members with military identification cards. The only thing that would come into play is if the servicemember is failing to provide for the wellbeing of minor dependents or the spouse. That would not have anything to do with the family separation pay, though.

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