How can you make someone understand that the time for reading books and websites and watching talk shows is when everything is going smoothly and not while the abuser is having one of his tantrums?

Answer 1

You have to ask yourself why it's important you care whether this person understands or not. In fact, it sounds like they think you're making the whole thing up. If this is a good friend or family member then go on www.Google.com and type in THE CYCLE OF ABUSE TOWARDS WOMEN. Print it out and tell them to read it. You are right, and abusers come in all varieties. There are those that always beat their victim up without much cause (of course behind closed doors) and there are verbal abusers that do the same, but some also do it out in public or around their friends and they have no idea they are being verbally abuse. I just recently kicked out two dear friends of mine because her husband is very verbally abuse and since they were in my home I laid into him and told him off. His wife sat there like she'd been hit by a stun gun. Whether she does something about it is up to her (he doesn't physically abuse her) and if she wants the help she knows where to find me. There are also guys that only abuse when they are in a rotten mood, and can smile like a chesser cat and be quite charming to family and friends. Thus, most family and friends only see the good side and not what you see behind closed doors. It's time to educate them! There are "Abused Women's Centers" in your area or if you can't find one phone "Mental Health" and they will point you in the right direction. There is no reason why you can't leave. The Women's Centers will protect you and help you out. Good luck Merry Christmas Marcy