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How does an abuser decide who to victimize and who to treat 'fairly'?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
They will abuse the people that let them. They know how to test people and read people. An abuser will never be in a realtionship with a srong willed person. And if they end up with one, they will always break it off. Abusers only want the weak, the one's they can control and abuse.
I think it is a matter of timing and context. I don't think all abused women are born victims. I was in a non-abusive relationship for 12 years. I was single for 6 years and then met up with a charming abuser. I was a strong and independent woman. I think I was a challenge for him. I tell my story because I don't think abused women should think of themselves as permanent victims or think that some other woman will be treated better. Now that I know how to recognize these men, I don't think I will make that mistake again. They can be very charming initially but they never end up treating anyone "fairly".
Yeah, I have an independent personality and lifestyle. I'd never met the charming type before (dated one, I mean) and so it took him over 3 years to whittle away at my self esteem. By the end, I was a depressed, sad, angry person. Sometimes the abuser will intentionally seek out strong willed people simply for the challenge.
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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