Is withholding dessert for one week an appropriate punishment for a 4-year-old girl who wrote on a sofa along with making her help clean the sofa?

Answer 1

No, children that age are still learning to control their actions (ie they know they shouldn't do it but can't stop themselves). I would make her help clean it and explain why it makes you sad and get her to promise not to do it again. Your disappointment can be a real motivation for her not to do it again. Yes that is a good punishment she has to learn that behaviour like that is not acceptable and no desert is a good punishment as you can teach her if she does something you dont want her to do she wont get what she wants even if she is still learning to control her actions then its still okay to teach her how to, i think helping her clean it will make a statement of how important the cleaness of the sofa is to you aswell and will teach her not to do it again. Well done!