What are the lyrics to the Noel Coward song entitled Nina from Argentina?

Answer 1

Señorita Nina, from Argentina, knew all the answers Though her relatives and friends were perfect dancers She swore she'd never dance a step until she died She said, "I've seen too many movies, and all they prove is too idiotic. They all insist that South America's exotic Whereas it couldn't be more boring if it tried." She added firmly that she hated The sound of soft Guitars beside a still lagoon She also positively stated That she could not abide a Southern moon She said "I hate to be pedantic but I'm driven nearly frantic When I see that unromantic, sycophantic lot of sluts Forever wriggling their guts. It drives me absolutely nuts." She refused to Begin The Beguine when they requested it And she made an embarrassing scene if anyone suggested it For she detested it. Though no-one ever could be keener than little Nina On quite a number of very eligible men who did the rhumba When they proposed to her she simply left them flat. She said that love should be impulsive, but not convulsive And syncopation had a discouraging effect on procreation And that she'd rather read a book and that was that. Señorita Nina, from Argentina, despised the Tango Although she never was a girl to let a man go She wouldn't sacrifice her principles for sex. She looked with scorn on the gyrations Of her relations who danced the conga And swore that if she had to stand it any longer She'd lose all dignity and ring their silly necks. She said that frankly she was blinded To all the over advertised romantic charms And then she got more bloody minded And told them where to put their tropic palms. And she could not refrain from saying that their idiotic swaying And those damned guitarras playing were an insult to her race And that she really couldn't face Such international disgrace She declined to Begin The Beguine when they besought her to And with language profane and obscene she cursed the man who taught her to She cursed Cole Porter too. From this its fairly clear that Nina, in her demeanour Was so offensive that when the hatred of her friends grew too intensive She thought she'd better beat it while she had the chance After some trial and tribulation, she reached the station And met a sailor, who had acquired a wooden leg in Venezuela And so he married him, because he couldn't dance. There surely never could've been a More irritating girl than Nina They never speak in Argentina Of this degenerate bambina Who had the luck to find romance But resolutely wouldn't dance.