What are some good dumb blonde jokes?

Answer 1

She missed the 44 bus so she took the 22 bus twice!!!

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are being chased by criminals with guns. They first surround the brunette. Then they say "Ready... Aim" and the brunette screams "FLOOD!" and they look away so the brunette escapes. Then they surround the red head and say "Ready... Aim" and the red head screams "TORNADO!" and they look away and she escapes. Then they surround the blonde. They yell "Ready... Aim" and the blonde screams "FIRE!" and she is shot!

She was so blonde she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland when they saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned round and went home!

Why do blondes wear green lipstick? Because red means STOP.

there was a blonde a brunette and a redhead. they all walked into a store and the brunette wanted a lamp so she bought it and left. the redhead wanted a light bulb so she got it and left. the blonde wanted a TV so she went up to buy it but she couldn't so she changed her clothes and came back the next day. she still couldn't buy it. so she went home dyed her hair and came back to buy it, but she couldn't. she she went and got plastic surgery and came back and went to get it, but she couldn't. so she asked the store clerk why she couldn't buy it and he replied. Its because its not a TV. She insisted it was. so the clerk placed his food in it and told her it was a microwave...not a TV. ha ha this is totally something i would do!

Two brunettes and a blonde escape from prison. To get away from the cops they run into an abandoned farmhouse. In the farmhouse there were three big empty sacks lying on the ground. So they hid in them when the cops came to the farmhouse, one of the cops sees the sacks and he decides to kick all the bags to check its not them hiding. The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunette in it, and she says "meow" The officer said "Oh there's just a stupid cat in there" So he kicks the one with the other brunette in it, and she says "Woof Woof"

The officer said "Oh its just a stupid dog" Then he kicks the sack with a blonde in it and she says "Potatoes!"

A guy gets on a bus and walks up to a blonde. She has some headphones on and the guy goes "will you go out with me tonight." She cant hear him! So he asks louder and she still doesn't hear him. He takes the headphones off and she DIES! He puts them on and hears Breathe in Breathe out!

why do blondes wear shoes that say TGIF because "because toes go in first"

Whats it called when a Blonde dies her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence

Answer 2

Q. How do you drown a blonde and be convicted innocent in court?

A. Place a "Scratch and sniff" sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and Santa clause walk down a side walk and find a $20 bill. Who get's it first?

A. The dumb blonde, the two others don't exsist.

Q. How do you keep a blond busy for hours?

A. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to sort them alphabetically.

A blonde has two horses. She calls her neighbor, Dave, and tells him, "Dave, I can't tell the difference between my two horses. I need to so I can feed them both the right amount. Dave says, "Cut one's tail shorter." She does, but it grew back. Dave said, "Tie a ribbon around one's neck." She does, but it fell of when they were playing. Dave finaly said, "Measure them both." She does and calls Dave. "Dave, Dave, it worked! The black horse is 2 inches taller then the white one!"

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the television in the corner. The store clerk said, "We don't serve blondes." She dyed her hair brown and came back. She asked. Same answer. The same thing happened with red, white, green, etc. She dyed her hair black and came back. It was a different store clerk this time. She asked, "May I please buy that television in the corner?" He said, "We don't serve blonds." She was fed up by this and asked, "How on earth do you know I'm blonde?!" The store clerk smiled and said," Because that isn't a teleision, it's a microwave!"

a girl is sitting at a bar when a blonde walkes in. she says do not take of these head phones or i will die. she takes of the head phones and the blonde dies. another one walkes in and says the same thing. she takes of the headphones and the blonde dies. this happenes 10 more times before she decides to try them on and she hears breath in breath out breath in breath out

Answer 3

Blonde jokes are very steriotyplical but funny. no offence to blones thooo :)

1. how do u drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

2. a red head a brunette and a blonde rob a bank. they hide in a shed. the red head hides behind a sack of cat food the brunette a bag of dog food and the blonde behind some potatoes. the cops shine a light on the catfood bag and the red head goes "meow!" then they shine the light on the dogfood bag and the brunette goes "woof!" then they shine a light on the potatoes and the blonde goes "poooo-taaaaa-tooooooo"

3. a blonde suspects her husband is cheating. when she finds him with another girlshe puts the gun to her head. man: honey no! blonde: oh shut up youre next!

4. two blondes are trying to unlock their car. blonde 1: hurry up! 2: i cant! 1: it looks like its gunna rain and the tops down so hurry!

-cadence wesley

Answer 4

yo mama so fat she jumped in the Gulf of Mexico and a whale came up and started singing we are family even though your fatter then me.

milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made

Your mama's so tall she did a backflip and hit Jesus' chin

Your mama's so fat she fell asleep in the sttic and woke up in the basement

Your mama's so old Jesus is in her year book

Your mama's so fat she got a bus and the driver said 'Sorry 300 pound weight limit'

Your mama's so stupid that she put a piece of paprer on a TV and called it paper view

Your mama's so fat when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 whole seasons of The Jerry Springer's Show!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

:) :) :) :) :) :) :P :O :X :* :^ :! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

A Russian, an American, and a blonde are arguing about the space race. "We were the first in space!" declares the Russian.

"Oh yeah? Well, we were the first on the moon!" the American replies.

"Well... blondes will be the first on the sun!" interjects the blonde.

The Russian and the American give each other skeptical looks and ask the blonde how she expects to do that.

"Well, duh!" the blond replies, "We'll go at night!"

Answer 6

If a blonde and a brunette fell out of a plane, which would hit the ground first?

The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask directions!

Answer 7

none

the last guy was a blonde