What is the best dirty joke ever?

Answer 1

A little boy fell in mud.

Want to hear a clean joke?

A little boy took a bath with bubbles.

Want to hear a dirty joke?

Bubbles is the girl that lives next door.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?

Bubbles was his mom.

Answer 2

Unfortunately we cannot tell such jokes on here. You could do a search on the "world's dirtiest joke," "voodoo penis," or even "The Aristocrats."

One site is "aristocratsjokes" and it has the most vulgar description of a "family act" I've ever read, and it involves illegal activities (drug use, incest, child abuse, etc). It starts out where a family is looking for an agent, and the agent is reluctant saying it was the same stuff everyone has seen before. But as they continue, it gets into illegal, immoral, and disgusting sexual behaviors, drug use, firearms, etc. By the time it is over, everyone but the father is dead, there are bodily substances all over the stage, and the agent is asking what their act was called. The father says, "The Aristocrats."

Now if you want some that aren't really dirty, but allude to things, those are probably allowed:

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

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This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window. He tells her to take off her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor.

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpes - that's why I am here!"

Answer 3

The Aristocrats.

Answer 4

a man walks into a bar.... ouch

Answer 5

your sister told me some last night ;)

Answer 6

Jock the coalman