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The con-men actors plan a performance of the duel from the end of Richard III and the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet and the Duke (the younger con-man) recites what they call 'Hamlet's Immortal Soliloquy" but it is a mish-mosh of misunderstood Shakespearean quotations. They do not perform anything close to an entire Shakespearean play. The text of the "Immortal Soliloquy" is as follows:

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would fardels bear, till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane,

But that the fear of something after death Murders the innocent sleep,

Great nature's second course,

And makes us rather sling the arrows of outrageous fortune

Than fly to others that we know not of.

There's the respect must give us pause:

Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The law's delay, and the quietus which his pangs might take.

In the dead waste and middle of the night, when churchyards yawn

In customary suits of solemn black,

But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns,

Breathes forth contagion on the world,

And thus the native hue of resolution, like the poor cat i' the adage,

Is sicklied o'er with care.

And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops,

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action.

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

But soft you, the fair Ophelia:

Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws.

But get thee to a nunnery-go!

As it happens, their Shakespearean revival does not attract the crowds they had hoped for, so they perform something called "The King's Cameleopard or The Royal Nonesuch" instead.

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