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Narcissists "love" their spouses or other significant othersas long as they continue to reliably provide them with Narcissistic Supply (in one word, with attention). Inevitably, they regard others as mere "sources", objects, or functions. Lacking empathy and emotional maturity, the narcissist's love is pathological. But the precise locus of the pathology depends on the narcissist's stability or instability in different parts of his life.
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We are, therefore, faced with two pathological forms of narcissistic "love".
One type of narcissist "loves" others as one would attach to objects. He "loves" his spouse, for instance, simply because she exists and is available to provide him with Narcissistic Supply. He "loves" his children because they are part of his self-image as a successful husband and father. He "loves" his "friends" because and only as long as he can exploit them. Such a narcissist reacts with alarm and rage to any sign of independence and autonomy in his "charges". He tries to "freeze" everyone around him in their "allocated" positions and "assigned roles". His world is rigid and immovable, predictable and static, fully under his control. He punishes for "transgressions" against this ordained order. He thus stifles life as a dynamic process of compromising and growing ? rendering it instead a mere theatre, a tableau vivant.
The other type of narcissist abhors monotony and constancy, equating them, in his mind, with death. He seeks upheaval, drama, and change ? but only when they conform to his plans, designs, and views of the world and of himself. Thus, he does not encourage growth in his nearest and dearest. By monopolizing their lives, he, like the other kind of narcissist, also reduces them to mere objects, props in the exciting drama of his life.
This narcissist likewise rages at any sign of rebellion and disagreement. But, as opposed to the first sub-species, he seeks to animate others with his demented energy, grandiose plans, and megalomaniacal self-perception. An adrenaline junkie, his world is a whirlwind of comings and goings, reunions and separations, loves and hates, vocations adopted and discarded, schemes erected and dismantled, enemies turned friends and vice versa. His Universe is equally a theatre, but a more ferocious and chaotic one.
Where is love in all this? Where is the commitment to the loved one's welfare, the discipline, the extension of oneself to incorporate the beloved, the mutual growth? Nowhere to be seen. The narcissist's "love" is hate and fear disguised fear of losing control and hatred of the very people his precariously balanced personality so depends on. The narcissist is egotistically committed only to his own well-being. To him, the objects of his "love" are interchangeable and inferior.
He idealizes his nearest and dearest not because he is smitten by emotion ? but because he needs to captivate them and to convince himself that they are worthy Sources of Supply, despite their flaws and mediocrity. Once he deems them useless, he discards and devalues them similarly cold-bloodedly. A predator, always on the lookout, he debases the coin of "love" as he corrupts everything else in himself and around him.
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I think everyone have 2 components in them... the Narcissism and the love... Me too... When we broke up and she went back to her bf... I cried then felt immense rage, but then...after a couple weeks, when it subsided, I realised that i loved her. Yes i did love her. There was always a part of me who wanted to call her and get back with her... telling her what she wanted to hear... that i love her... but every time it got blocked by the narcissism. I got very close... but it was always blocked. I did not realise only afterwards... Something was blocking me from expressing my emotions...
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A narcissist is human and, like most of us, will want love in a natural way. Sometimes that part will be heard and felt by a person who is a narcissist. However, it will often be repressed by fear or warped logic.
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∙ 13y ago
A narcissist may be capable of forming a relationship with their spouse based on their own needs and desires, but it may be more about control and validation rather than genuine love. Their focus is typically on themselves and their own needs rather than on their partner's well-being.
Wiki User
∙ 13y agoNarcissists can't love ANYONE - even their spouse. Once he is done reeling them in and brainwashing them - he will start abusing.
The only answer is to RUN as fast & as far away from a Narcissist as possible.
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Would a narcissist tell you that he loves you?
Yes, but only if he got something out of it.
Is an egomaniac the same thing as a narcissist?
While both terms involve excessive self-centeredness and a lack of empathy, they are not the same. An egomaniac is someone obsessed with their own power and importance, while a narcissist is trapped in a cycle of seeking validation and admiration from others.
How do you make a narcassist be kind?
It is unlikely that you can change a narcissist's behavior, as their traits are deeply ingrained. It is important to set boundaries and protect yourself from any harm caused by their behavior. Encouraging them to seek therapy or counseling may be a way to address their behavior.
What do you call a person that is only attracted to their self?
A person who is only attracted to themselves is known as autosexual. This term denotes a strong romantic or sexual interest in oneself.
Is a narcissist someone who worships his own self?
A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They may appear to worship themselves, but it is often a coping mechanism to mask their underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities.
Does a narcissist love women?
Narcissists love only themselves.
Is Justin Bieber obsessed with Selena Gomez?
No, only in love
What does only a masochist could ever love a narcissist means?
A Masochist is someone that loves pain, in short, and very generalized. Loving a narcissist is about pain, therefore only a masochist could love a narcissist. Having said that, I think someone was being very sarcastic when writing it as anyone can fall in love with a narcissist, they are very charming and morph themselves to you, for awhile. I think they were trying to make the point that only a masochist could enjoying loving a narcissist, due to the pain part. On that I concur.
When a narcissist claims to love someone else immediately after leaving you does he really love her?
obviously no because true comes only once
Why does apples the cat not talk to you only to fluffy the alien who only loves?
because apples is obsessed by fluffy and love.
Is it normal for a narcissist to say they dont know what love is because they have never had it in their lives even though you told them how much you loved them?
The only "love" a narcissist knows is self-love. Their inability to empathize with anyone else means they are unlikely to know what love is. A narcissist will say anything to maintain their narcissistic supply. If you are the source of this supply, and they realised that if they said they don't know what love is will get you to increase that supply, then they will say it. Please be careful. Look after yourself.
How can you become the love of your narcissist boyfriend's life?
Narcissist people are self centered; selfish; can't be relied on and are looking out for themselves only so I have no idea why you would want to be his one great love. Do yourself a favor girl while you can and run fast and far!
Is my narcissist ex done crawling back to me if he told me he's in love with another woman?
Only until he falls out of love with her. Your ex will be done crawling back to you when you stop accepting him back.
I am married he is married We didn't mean to do it but we fell in love should we hurt others to be happy for ourselves?
Well if you are not in love with your spouse and you are "cheating" on your spouse it will no doubtedly come out and they will get hurt, whether you tell them now or later, does it really matter. If you are "in love" with someone other than your spouse that will mean that you are not even giving your spouse a chance in being happy anyway, because you are unhappy, and if you stay with your spouse eventually you will resent them for your unhappiness, and who wants to live that way? I say be honest not only to your spouse but to yourself, if you stay in your marriage...nobody will be happy.
If you are obsessed with your penis does that mean you are gay?
No. Only if you were obsessed and attracted to another male and his penis.
Would the sentence i am obsessed with fighter planes be correct?
Only if you are obsessed with fighter planes.
What is a obsessed person?
an obsessed person is somebody who only thinks of one thing and does it all the time
