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Is it possible to have any level of intimacy with a narcissist?
BonnieG
I think the key here is "apparent" intimacy. The N I've dealt with is extremely good at making you THINK he's being intimate....actually he turns it on and off at (and for) his pleasure. He goes in and out of being highly somatic and needing a sex partner, and when he's needy, he offers intimations of intimacy that are very appealing. He's capable of producing a certain boyish charm that is very hard to resist. It's so easy to think, "Oh, wow, this time he's different." Not so....he'll go back to being obviously selfish almost instantly once he's got whatever he sought. The selfishness, ego, and yes, callous cruelty, of these people is hard for a decent person to even grasp. Dealing with an N is an exercise in observing a highly skilled adult-size person who has the moral values of a spoiled two-year-old. Nothing worthwhile exists for them unless it provides their own goal of personal satisfaction--whatever that may be at the moment. They are the ultimate users.
AnswerI totally agree with Georgette, the contributer above. "Apparent" intimacy is truly the key here. A month ago my N paid me a visit, and, oh, she was sooo sweet and so nice. Before I knew it we were back in bed for two nights. It was great!! She was so romantic - candles, soft music, taking a stroll down memory lane with all the great times we had together, and all the promises she had for the future. Three days later she emailed me saying the intimacy deal was off, and she hoped I wasn't upset and could we still make that trip we had planned together? She truly is quite a character. I emailed her back saying I had absolutely no idea of what she was talking about and did she mistake me for someone else? This turned her all friendly, friendly again. Amazing. To go back three years: We planned on getting married. I bought us a house, she moved in, became pregnant with our child one month before the wedding, and then ten days before the ceremony she called it off. The next day it was on again, we had the ceremony in a "Chapel in the Pines" (without the support of a marriage license - my last minute thought) we had a great honeymoon, came home, and then she decided she wanted to live alone. I never lived a day in the house I bought. Six years before that: I took her to Hawaii. We had a fabulous time. On our last day in the islands on the drive to the airport she broke up with me. Okey Dokey. Do you see the pattern: "Apparent intimacy", then take what you can get. Yes, she is a spoiled two-year-old. Her father says she lives in just one dimension - her own. He has asked me why I have ever put up with her and I say: Because if I didn't that would spoil all the fun, and second she has given me the most precious gift anyone could possibly receive - a son. I must put a disclaimer in here: Do not try this on your own, you results will vary!!!! This is definitely what you would call playing with fire and if you don't stay one step ahead of your "N" YOU ARE TOAST and you will live a miserable wretched existence. If you are in a "relationship" with a "N" I strongly advise that you run as fast as you can and don't ever look back. Answer #3:Answerer #2 appears to be a closet narcissist himself.Rather the closet narcissist is gratified by the re-enactment of past abusive relationships. In the narcissist, he feels that he has found a lost parent. he seeks to re-create old unresolved conflicts through the agency of the narcissist. There is a latent hope that this time, he will get it "right", that thisemotional liaison or interaction will not end in bitter disappointment and lasting agony.
Yet, by choosing a narcissist for his partner, he ensures an identical outcome time and again. Why should one choose to repeatedly fail in his relationships is an intriguing question. Partly, it has to do with the comfort of familiarity. The closet narcissist is used - since childhood - to failing relationships. It seems that he prefers predictability to emotional gratification and to personal development. There are also strong elements of self-punishment and self-destruction added to the combustible mix that is the dyad closet narcissist.
not to mention how he appears hypomanic when thinking and interacting with the narcissist, (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomania )which is a serious issue aggravated by the interaction with a narcissist. he never learned how to extricate himself from his attraction to the needy narcissist.
People with Personality Disorders (PDs) are very afraid of real, mature, intimacy. Intimacy is formed not only within a couple, but also in a workplace, in a neighborhood, with friends, while collaborating on a project. Intimacy is another word for emotional involvement, which is the result of interactions with others in constant and predictable (safe) propinquity.
Patients with personality disorders interpret intimacy as codependence, emotional strangulation, the snuffing of freedom, a kind of death in installments. They are terrorized by it. To avoid it, their self-destructive and self-defeating acts are intended to dismantle the very foundation of a successful relationship, a career, a project, or a friendship. Narcissists feel elated and relieved after they unshackle these "chains". They feel they broke through a siege, that they are liberated, free at last. By withholding love, intimacy, and the fulfillment of other people's desires and needs, the narcissist torments them even as he obstructs his own gratification.
a narcissist's inability to give and take intimacy is not the partner's responsibility. The patient with a personality disorder is vulnerable to and prone to suffer from a host of other psychiatric problems. It is as though his psychological immunological system is disabled by the personality disorder and he falls prey to other variants of mental illness. So much energy is consumed by the disorder and by its corollaries (example: by obsessions-compulsions), that the patient is rendered defenseless.
Narcissists are simply indifferent, callous and careless in their conduct and in their treatment of others. Their abusive conduct is off-handed and absent-minded, not calculated and premeditated.
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
It can be challenging to have true intimacy with a narcissist due to their self-centered behavior and inability to truly empathize with others. They may struggle to form deep emotional connections and prioritize their own needs over their partner's. Communication and boundary-setting are vital if attempting to establish intimacy with a narcissist, but it is important to prioritize self-care and consider seeking professional help.
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Use the word narcissistic in a sentence?
the narcissist prince prefered to stay single than to marry any princess of the world. ---- Samantha was such a narcissist that she thought herself more beautiful than any other girl in the world.
How do you make a relationship with a narcissist successful?
It can be challenging to have a successful relationship with a narcissist because they often lack empathy and prioritize their own needs. Communication, setting boundaries, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be helpful in navigating the relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and consider if the relationship is truly healthy for you.
How do you make a narcassist be kind?
It is unlikely that you can change a narcissist's behavior, as their traits are deeply ingrained. It is important to set boundaries and protect yourself from any harm caused by their behavior. Encouraging them to seek therapy or counseling may be a way to address their behavior.
Does a narcissist ever really forget her victim does a narcissist ever really let go does a narcissist ever write of their victim?
Do narcissists ever let go of a victim? The answer yes and no. As long as the narc feels you have any intrest in them and you can be manipulated by them such as guilt tripping, feeling sorry for them, will allow them to conjole, or cause any emotions in you whether anger, sympathy, empathy or any attention they will not let go or write you off. Narcs are users period. As long as you are a source of supply for anything they will try and add you to their list of suppliers. The only way to be written off by a narc is if you are replaced with a better source of whatever they were using you for, such as money,sex, service to immediate family members, friends or someone they consider a trophy to enhanse their public image. When with a narc, you will feel like yard dog, taxi driver, money supplier, dildo with a heart beat, door Matt and for all you supply to them will be taken for granted. They are ingrates and feel entitled to all they can get and have no remorse or gratitude.
Name for a person with little or no empathy?
Egocentric. Selfish. Narcissistic. Apathetic. Any one with a high level of the trait of narcissism (an inflated self-esteem, a sense of superiority and a feeling of entitlement) generally has little empathy or sympathy for others. The following links explain more: www.ultimate-self.com/empathy/ www.ultimate-self.com/the-narcissist/ Apathy: A strong uncare for a person (opposite of empathy)
Is there any way to get a narcissist to want you again?
What is the usage of the term "narcissist" and how does it reflect upon this situation. I do not understand. nar
What is social intimacy?
Social intimacy is the closeness that two people share together. To make any relationship successful intimacy should be shared by the couple doing various activities together and talking.
Has any spouse of a Narcissist ever felt that their spouse was flirting with other women in front of them?
Well of course. That's a how a narcissist valids himself.
Can a narcissist show appreciation?
A narcissist cannot show appreciation. A narcissist is a person who looks at themselves as higher than others, or believing they can do any task better than others, so for a narcissist to show appreciation would be very odd.
If you know people who are being hurt by a narcissist should you out the narcissist?
Yes, I believe you should out the narcissist. You have to think of your own mental health. I am presently trying to break away from one and his insistance of his love and devotion makes it hard. I am digging my heals in deeper and I am insisting that he seek help before any reconciliation is possible. He of course, believes that he does not need any professional help. I will continue to hold firm with that decision until he will probably give up and move on. you can to help the victim
Can someone who admits their mistakes be a narcissist?
A Narcissist NEVER makes any mistakes. It is always the fault of another person is done TO him not BY HIM so that he will look to be at fault.
Does the marriage to a Narcissist usually disintegrate into fewer and fewer sexual encounters due to the lack of intimacy and closeness that unravels over time?
Yes, I think so. Maybe you two should try marriage counseling. Good luck and God Bless:) In my eight-year marriage to a narcissist, I found that this was one thing that happened at times. I found that he needed constant excitement from novelty, and that if we could find something novel enough or taboo enough, it revived our sex life. If not, or if he got bored, he'd roam around looking for other women. I think he was even interested in men, although I can't prove it. He had a lot of sexual problems and trouble with intimacy, and he didn't want to think about his problems or work on them. So unless he could have really crazy sex that distracted him from that fact, he didn't want to have sex. He had a tendency toward sadism and control. He was also interested in S & M. But all this masked the fact that he had intimacy issues. Of course, in normal marriages, the sex drive also decreases. The difference is that a narcissist will make a HUGE stink and demand that you do things that are extremely difficult or humiliating to keep the sex life interesting, whereas in a normal relationship, you'd just get counseling or try the kama sutra or something. The narcissist is likely to either shut you out over the issue, or leave over it, or cheat and do risky behaviors, or seek out crazy and novel sexual acts. These are all things done to avoid the issue of problems with true intimacy, which a narcissist cannot have. I wouldn't bother with counseling if he's really a narcissist. I wouldn't bother with any of it. I'd make sure he was a narcissist with narcissistic personality disorder, and then I'd leave. If that's really what he is, you have bigger problems than a flagging sex life.
Use the word narcissistic in a sentence?
the narcissist prince prefered to stay single than to marry any princess of the world. ---- Samantha was such a narcissist that she thought herself more beautiful than any other girl in the world.
Is there any only child whose parent is a narcissist?
Probably. I think I know her.
How do you make a relationship with a narcissist successful?
It can be challenging to have a successful relationship with a narcissist because they often lack empathy and prioritize their own needs. Communication, setting boundaries, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be helpful in navigating the relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and consider if the relationship is truly healthy for you.
What are the release dates for Any Day Now - 1998 So This Is Intimacy 2-6?
Any Day Now - 1998 So This Is Intimacy 2-6 was released on: USA: 26 September 1999 Hungary: 19 January 2007
Is there any hope for a narcissists' grandchildren and how can the parents of the children deal with the narcissist?
There is every hope. Don't ever allow them to spend ANY time alone with the narcissist and protect them from their criticisms and reaffirm their self worth and value if the Narcissist gets to them. if things get bad, just stop taking the children. Their emotional, psychological and mental protection is paramount.
