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It is Jewish custom, to place a pebble or small stone on a grave when one visits a cemetery. This is intended to convey a three-fold message. "You are not forgotten." "See-I have been here." "I have added to your monument."

This is not as much a religious thing as a custom or tradition. It is probably still done as the use of cut flowers is considered improper in the entire Jewish burial practice. (So, don't send or bring them on bereavement calls...a gift of -Kosher- food when making a "shiva" call is best).

The act of putting a stone on a grave refers back to when we as a people 'rose' up from the dirt of the earth. We started in the earth and end in the earth, and the stone represents that thought.

Another answer

1. The Midrash relates that each of Jacob's sons took a stone and put it on Rachel's grave to make up Rachel's tomb. From this we learn that by placing stones on the grave one participates in building up the tombstone. In those days one did not mark a grave with marble or granite and a fancy inscription, but one made a cairn of stones over it. Each mourner coming and adding a stone was effectively taking part in the Mitzvah of matzevah ("setting a marker") as well as a symbolic levayat ha-meyt ("accompanying the dead"). Our present practice seems to be commemorative of this ancient tradition.

2. The book Ta'amey Ha-Minhagim (pp. 470-471) says, "We put pebbles on the grave to show that the visitor was at the grave. It was a sort of calling-card for the honor of the deceased, to mark that you have paid a visit." (See also Orach Haim 224:8). A contemporary respondent, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, confirms this custom, noting Eliyahu Rabba 224 as his source.

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8y ago

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