Is it ok to think about kissing the same gender as you if your in a relationship with a guy?

Answer 1

I assume you are a woman in relationship with a man and you're thinking about kissing another woman:

Yes, it is ok - any natural instinctive human reaction is ok. Difficulties can arise when there is a conflict between your expectations and your feelings. Expectations like how relationships should operate, gender roles, what is "correct" behaviour are all learned behaviour - sometimes imposed on us by the society or culture in which we live, sometimes placed on ourselves through our unthinking acceptance of what we have observed around us.

There's a considerable difference, too, between thinking about something and taking action. If you're thinking about same-sex kissing to the extent that it is interfering with your inability to connect with your boyfriend then you have a problem. Your b/f will continue with his expectation that you are "into him" unless you give him reason to think the contrary.

You could perhaps ask yourself if your fantasies about same-sex interactions extend beyond merely kissing and that might give you an indication of how deep-seated your feelings are.

Answer 2

Exploring different thoughts and attractions can be a normal part of understanding one's own identity. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and desires. Ultimately, what matters most is your own happiness and being true to yourself.