Why some forms of abuse are hard to identify?

Answer 1

• It is sometimes difficult to identify verbal or physical abuse. With children sometimes one child may not respond to being sent to their room as punishment and the parent or parents may have to use other forms of punishment such as spanking on the behind (not slapping, kicking, punching or using an item other than the hand to spank that child.) Some people today feel that spanking a child is wrong, but statistics prove that children who were properly spanked (not beaten up) had fewer problems in every day life than children who were cajoled through their lives or 'given things' to basically keep them quiet and happy for just a little while, without resolving the problems. Parents are divided between whether they should spank to 'it's wrong to spank.' Verbal abuse is difficult to prove and leaves no physical scars, but does do damage mentally to that individual. It can take away their self esteem; self confidence and leave them feeling as if they are not important to anyone in this world. The saddest part is verbal and mental abuse was the mind set that men could not be abused because it was drilled into society that men were stronger and obviously be more physically abusive towards a woman, but, it has been found in many studies in just over the past 10 years that indeed men can be verbally and physically abused. Most good men are brought up to not hit a woman and thus they do not. Because of the social feelings of men being more dominant when it comes to physical abuse these male victims often will not reveal they are being abused to family or friends and seldom seek help by the Abused Men's Program and psychiatric counseling. It can be difficult for female/male to prove verbal abuse because there can be a gray area. Example: A woman can nag at her husband for not fixing things around the house to not paying enough attention to her and a man can complain that his wife is out all the time; a poor housekeeper, etc., but this does not constitute hard core verbal abuse. All couples can nag at each other and it is normal to get into the odd argument. Then there is elder abuse. The elderly are at the mercy of their children, proper medical care and some Nursing Homes have been reported as not giving good care and injuring their elderly patients. When a caregiver (be it a daughter or son) is constantly looking after an elderly parent that has many health problems or may be suffering from Alzheimer's it is constant care leaving the daughter or son without free time for themselves (especially if they are also raising children) and frustration can set in where the daughter or son (without much help from the rest of the family) may become so frustrated they may try to force feed their parent; not feed their parent; hit; wrench arms or legs (generally the elderly suffer from Arthritis and are tender to the touch); not bathe them and this constitutes physical abuse. There comes a time when the siblings of that parent must come together and decide when the time is right for their parent to enter into a nursing home for better care. Often this causes tension in the family. Some daughters/sons, etc., that are trying their best to look after a parent become frustrated; angry because they do not feel they are getting help; become confused and worn out to the point they do not know what programs are available to help them out and thus, the daughter or son becomes depressed and eventually abusive towards their parent. Other sibling may just neglect their parent and basically (hard to believe, but true in some cases) are waiting for their inheritance or may steal jewelry or other items from their aging parents and in their mind set confirm to themselves it is not wrong because their parent is going to die anyway and why not take what you can get before someone else in the family gets it. This happens more often than one can believe. Men abusing women is more open to the public eye and it can be far more severe and can lead to murder in some cases (or accidental murder.) Hitting or punching and the woman hits her head on something causing death is 'accidental murder', but planning to do away with one's wife and possibly children is murder in the first degree. If the wife chooses to not file a complaint against her husband (most women do not because the laws to protect women at this point are extremely weak and only infuriate their abuser more) then there is not evidence of physical abuse. The male will segregate the female from her family and friends with the mind set of 'what happens in MY house stays in MY house' so often others are not aware a woman is abused.
• What makes abuse really hard to prove is because 1) it is based on human testimony and 2) it is based on human interpretation of what is right or wrong. While some parents think that it is completely okay to beat their children halfway to death, others feel that even giving their child a stern look is wrong.

Answer 2

it is because of shyness or weird feeling created on complaining about the abuse.