Divorce

Divorce refers to the final termination and cancellation of a marital union, its legal duties and responsibilities, and the bonds of matrimony between the parties. It requires a legal process and may involve issues pertaining to spousal and child support, child custody, property distribution and division of debt.

3,151 Questions
Relationships
Dating after Divorce
Divorce

How do you get past hating the man you are married to when so much has gone wrong?

If you have children it may be better for them that you two divorce as amicably as possible, rather than be in an unhappy home. Even if you are going to counseling, if you are not happy in this marriage, in the long run the situation will not improve.

The liberated opinion: "get a divorce." You ever wonder why this country is so messed up?

Work on the problems. Work at it ... don't give up!

Stop it right now. Stop thinking about the past. You have a future. Everyday is a new day to start fresh and new. You need to start thinking about the positive versus the negative. It is so easy to hate and dewell in the neg. You have to make the best of what you have. Change can start with you. You just have to work at it. Start loving you and then loving your partner. Everybody goes through thing in their life good and bad it up to us to make life wonderful. Even people we love dearly hurt us sometime, but we have to forgive and move on. Try it and you will see.

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Marriage
Relationships
Divorce

People whose marriages made it less than a year, why did you get divorced?

“I was married in August and left by Christmas 2009,” wrote fieldoftrees. “[I] dated him for 4.5 years beforehand.”

“There were so many warning signs, and he got more controlling after we were engaged. I say ‘more’ because I didn't realize he was controlling at the time. It is always so gradual.”

“He demanded his engagement ring back several times,” fieldoftrees said. “He started telling me he didn't like my best friend (who hated him). [He] didn't want let me to maintain any relationships with my guy friends.”

“[He] didn't like me wearing low-cut shirts or tightish pants. (Note that I am quite conservative.) He decided to accept a PhD without telling me, after I'd accepted my own position out of town. I had to withdraw my acceptance so we could stay together.”

“In the time we were separated before divorce, he followed me, recorded phone calls, showed up at my parents’ house at 3 a.m. two hours from his house, showed up at my best friend’s apartment when he knew I was there, and slept with his students.”

“That's just what I remember. I know I've repressed some of it. I was terrified of him. Since then, I've dealt with severe anxiety issues and I have a hair-trigger fight-or-flight response. I'm shaking from nerves even thinking about this.”

“[The] best decision of my life was to leave him.”

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Divorce

What happened to Barbara Bray Edwards after divorce from Grifiths?

Statements on Google said that both Barbara and her adopted son, Andrew Samual Griffith died of alcoholism on January 17, 1996. I'm thinking this may have been a type error....can anyone confirm? I checked for punctuation in this statement to separate the date and cause of their deaths, but there was none.

271272273
Parenting and Children
Children and Divorce
Divorce

How do you get over your ex wife when you have to see each other because of the children?

You should keep your conversation restrict to about children only. You should try to accept the fact . Avoid contacting them unnecessarily (for no reason).

You do need to see your ex from time to time for a couple of reasons. One reason is so your children will still see their parents as "their parents", not a "parent and another parent", especially if they aren't yet grown. It's important for the kids to still feel they have both parents as a 'unit'.

Another reason is for you. Yes, you. Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to see them not as your wife or husband, but as your ex. If you don't see them, then your mind can still 'pretend' you and your ex are still together, or keep false hope that you will get back together. So by seeing your ex as just that - your ex- you will come to terms with it more quickly, because it can help you to see them in a whole new light, which can help you tremendously. I know it may sound odd at first, but give it a try for a while and you just may be pleasantly surprised at the things about her which you notice that annoy you, but you never gave them much thought while you were together. It's the little things like that which actually can make a difference in helping you to get over her.

Also, allow yourself time to grieve, just as you do when someone dies. After all, this is the death of a marriage, so you need time to grieve. When you feel the need to cry, then let yourself cry as loud and as long as you need to. When I went through my divorce, I cried myself to sleep many, many nights. And I cried all day during the day when I wasn't at work. I felt I would die of a broken heart. This went on for a while, then I literally ran out of tears. But what I didn't do was to let my children see me breaking down; I didn't want them to think badly of their father for hurting me by being with another woman. After all, he was still their father, and I knew they still loved him as much as ever, as they should. Also, I knew, even though they were teens, they were hurting badly, too, and I didn't want to add to their pain.

After you go through the intial grieving process you will go through an anger phase, which is normal, but is also good. Anger is easier to deal with than pain and hurt. When I became angry at my ex husband for cheating again, the anger hit me hard. And that was when my healing finally began. I also realized then that what I had been crying over and grieving for was the man I thought he was, not the man I learned he really was. And that helped me tremendously.

If she does start to show interest in you again, and if you still love her, don't play games. Just tell her straight out that you won't allow yourself to be hurt again. If her interest is sincere and she regrets the divorce, she will say so. If she doesn't, then she is just playing games, and you need to just walk away.

Don't let her use you as her personal bank, either. I've seen women leave their husbands, then treat them as a bank when they wanted money, knowing her husand still loved her. If she made the choice to break up the marriage, then she has to suffer the consequences. She can't expect you to pay for her play time or shopping. Paying child support is a given, but the rest is her responsibility. Don't let her use you for a free handyman or repair man, either. That would only be more painful for you, and unfair to you.

Often, after a divorce when the one who wanted the divorce see their ex is dating someone else, they will feel a bit possessive, and even jealous, or see it as a game to see if they can get their ex back. Don't fall for that. If you still love her and feel she still loves you too, then give it another try. But if you feel she is not sincere, then do not let her hurt you again, or succeed in keeping you from finding happiness with someone else. But honest communication is crucial for both of you, so tell her upfront how you feel if she does try to reel you back in after you do begin dating.

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Cheating
Marriage
Divorce

What are some possible solutions of divorce?

Sack up and divorce, or stay together.

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Custody
Family
Divorce

How does joint custody affect children?

Opinions from contributors:

The critical factor appears to be conflict between parents. With relatively little conflict between parents, joint custody is associated with better outcomes for children.

Joint custody is not all as pleasant as it seems. Some kids don't really care, but for kids like me who are use to being around both of my parents it is really hard to deal with. I am 17 and my parents got a divorce about 2 years ago. Since then I hardly ever see my dad even though my parents have joint custody. If my mom gets mad at my dad then she won't let us (my little sister, little brother,and me) go and spend time with him. She says that she only does it because she wants to make sure that he doesn't try to hurt us in any way, but I don't think that is the case. This also goes the same for my dad. If he gets mad at my mom he won't spend time with us he will just make up excuses. He does it to try and hurt my moms feelings but he is really hurting us. Going from one house to another is not fun either. Because you have to let your friends or any one wants to see you who house your staying at and that is a pain in the butt. So all these experts think they know every thing but they don't because half of them have never been in a situation like us kids have to go through.

It is easy to find research supporting both sides of this question. Joint custody (50/50) sounds great in theory but is difficult and often harmful to the child. Living in two different places makes it difficult for the child to find the stability they need. Where do they call home? It also takes two parents working together 100% of the time to establish consistent rules, moral values, and even things as simple as bedtimes. True joint custody may be appropriate in those cases where the parents stay good friends and divorce on good terms. In my case, my wife left the kids and I for a much younger lifestyle that is not kid friendly. I am so thankful I was awarded primary physical custody. Joint custody would not be in the best interest of the kids. I find it hard enough to deal with my ex-wife allowing our 4 and 8 year old stay up past midnight, watching R-rated movies with them, and trying to be more of a cool friend than a mom. It would be so much worse if custody was on a 50/50 basis.

Joint custody is the ideal when it is amicable. If all parents would behave in the way a responsible adult should, it would be a much happier and peaceful environment for children who have no choice in the matter.

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Friendship
Divorce

What do you say to a friend when he tells you he is getting a divorce?

Whatever you feel. However, it is common to give him advice to "be able to move on and forget about it" and something along the lines of "you could do so much better". Your friend would like some reassurance and just a bit of friendship is the key. Keep them distracted and give some memories of past to make him feel better. After that, just treat him properly.

207208209
Cheating
Marriage
Divorce

Does an extramarital affair necessarily mean the end of a marriage?

  • If a spouse has only one extramarital affair then it does not mean the end of a marriage, but only that the marriage is in trouble and most of it is caused by lack of communication so each spouse knows how the other feels. Sometimes spouses are married so long that the magic has gone out of their marriage and they may need to get away together on a bit of a romantic holiday even if it is just a weekend away at something you both enjoy. If a spouse is constantly having affairs then yes, it is probably the end of the marriage because the spouse cannot commit to one person and has a disregard for their spouse. Marriage counseling is another good way to learn tools to save the marriage, but often the male spouse is not open to airing out his marriage problems with a counselor.
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Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
Children and Divorce
Divorce

What can you do about an ex-husband brainwashing the children to believe the divorce was your fault?

We both took the high road; however my sons, now in their twenties, do realize what the issue was with their father. As the first entry states: children are smart.

If your husband has court mandated custody of visitation, there is little you can do legally.

Your son is likely to encounter narcissists in his future. In a way, he will be better prepared to cope with them, more alert to their existence and chicanery and more desensitized to their abuse.

For this you should be grateful.

There is nothing much you can do, otherwise. Stop wasting your money, time, energy and emotional resources on this intractable "problem" of how to insulate your son from his father's influence. It is a lost war, though a just cause. Instead, make yourself available to your son.

The only thing you can do to prevent your son from emulating his father - is to present to him another role model of a NON-narcissist - YOU. Hopefully, when he grows up, he will prefer your model to his father's. But there is only that much you can do. You cannot control the developmental path of your son. Exerting unlimited control over your son is what narcissism is all about - and is exactly what you should avoid at all costs, however worried you might be.

Narcissism does tend to breed Narcissism - but not inevitably. Not all the off-spring of a narcissist inexorably become narcissists.

The Narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multi-faceted source of Narcissistic supply. The child is considered and treated as an extension of the Narcissist's personality. It is through the child that the Narcissist seeks to settle "open accounts" with the world. The child is supposed to materialize the unfulfilled Narcissistic dreams and fantasies of the Narcissistic parent. This "Life by Proxy" can develop in two possible ways: the Narcissist can either merge with his child or be ambivalent towards him. The ambivalence is the result of a conflict between the attainment of Narcissistic goals and pathological (destructive) envy.

To ameliorate the unease bred by emotional ambivalence, the Narcissist resorts to a myriad of control mechanisms. The latter can be grouped into: guilt-driven ("I sacrificed my life for you�"), dependence-driven ("I need you, I cannot cope without you�"), goal-driven ("We have a common goal which we must achieve") and explicit ("If you do not adhere to my principles, beliefs, ideology, religion or any other set of values � sanctions will be imposed").

The exercise of control helps to sustain the illusion that the child is a part of the Narcissist. Such sustenance calls for extraordinary levels of control (on the part of the parent) and obedience (on the part of the child). The relationship is typically symbiotic and emotionally vicissitudinal and turbulent.

The child fulfils another important Narcissistic function � that of Narcissistic supply. There is no denying the implied (though imaginary) immortality in having a child. The early (natural) dependence of the child serves to assuage the fear of abandonment, which is THE driving force in the Narcissist's life. The Narcissist tries to perpetuate this dependence, using the aforementioned control mechanisms. The child is the penultimate Secondary Narcissistic Source of Supply. He is present, he admires, he accumulates and remembers, owing to his wish to be loved he can be extorted into forever giving. For the Narcissist, a child is a dream come true, but only in the most egotistical sense. When the child is perceived as "reneging" on his chief duty (to provide his Narcissistic parent with constant supply of adoration) � the emotional reaction is harsh and revealing.

It is when the Narcissistic parent is disenchanted with his child that we see the true nature of this pathological relationship. The child is totally objectified. The Narcissist reacts to a breach in the unwritten contract with wells of aggression and aggressive transformations: contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse, and even physical violence. He tries to annihilate the real child (brought to the Narcissist's awareness through the child's refusal to act as before) and substitute it with the subservient, edifying, former version.

The Narcissistic parent tends to produce another Narcissist in his child. But this outcome can be effectively countered by loving, empathic, predictable, just, and positive upbringing which encourages a sense of autonomy and responsibility. Provide your child with an alternative to his father's venomous and exploitative existence. Trust your son to choose life over death, love over narcissism, human relations over narcissistic supply.

It's such a tradgedy that children are the "casualty" of divorce. Do you think it matters to the children who's fault it was? A divorce is between a Husband and Wife not a Mother and Father. Children need a Mother and Father that can show them that they love them unconditionally. That means hanging up the phone if an argument is starting up. That means being aware if the kids are around when saying things that might affect them. They need to feel safe when they are at Mom's home as well as their Dad's. Here is what I have told my children. (Please believe me it has been very, very, difficult not to dump on them about my feelings pertaining to the divorce.)

And yes... I am their Father. I tell them that "I will always care for your mom because she is the Mother of my children and you are very special. Hey, when they get older they will be able to figure things out. Put your children not the divorce as your first priority otherwise it will make little adults out of them and they think they have to solve all the problems. Because somehow they think the divorce was maybe their fault. I'm recently divorced ( 3 years ) with kids. We can help each other to cope with our losses. Especially the things that happen that we could never have imagined or forseen. Thanks for the question. It has helped me to be able to try and help someone else.

There's nothing you can do about the husband. Even if a judge tells him not to do this, it will not stop. 1.) Let your character and integrity speak to your children in the way you live your life without becoming just another voice of blame in their ears. They will make the comparison for themselves and evaluate what they are hearing and seeing by that example. 2.) Explain to them that human beings have a tendency to vent frustration when things are not going well. Ask them if they know of children at school who have been friends, then had a fight which was followed by one or the other creating stories to discredit the former friend. Ask them what the results were of that slander. Let them see what they are involved in, from their own level of experience. Let them know that, while this is not productive behavior, it is a form of expressing fear. The father is in fear that if the children blame him, he may lose their love. While this is not true, the father is acting with anger toward the mother because of his fear of losing more than just the marriage. Ask the children if they understand this is just a phase of the separation and that it will, probably, eventually stop. They should be patient, understanding and, above all, insightful about what is actually happening. Tell them you regret they are being caught in the middle, but assure them you have every confidence they will learn from the experience to be more observant for themselves, instead of taking "venting" as the truth it is presented to be. Stress to them this is their opportunity to learn better ways by observation that there are better ways to handle that fear of loss and abandonment. Let them know that, while their father's behavior is regrettable, he is still their father, but they need to recognize what behavior is appropriate and what is unfortunate. Tell them this is their opportunity to learn by observance; to define more closely what they feel their own behavior would be under similar circumstances. If the story of the divorce can be explained to the children in terms they can understand from their own level...such as their relationships with other children...give them a brief overview of why the situation was not beneficial for anyone involved and how the divorce has curtailed a situation which was not helpful. Let them know you regret it was necessary, but it was your belief that the present circumstances are much less devastating than if the marriage situation had continued. A parent must know their children in order to design the format of this conversation. Never, never use the same behavior as the parent who is willing to sacrifice the child's tenuous security for his own intent to use them in his vindictive behavior to the other parent. The most important consideration is not what the other parent is doing, but the child's ability to feel as much security as possible in a difficult situation. You must be the parent who provides that clarity in the face of chaos...and hope the other parent will come to his senses...but don't count on it. The children are more important than the post-marital malice.

My ex- and I split when my children were very young;I took the high road, did not bad mouth him whatsoever,even though he brainwashed them about me. After two years, we reconciled, then he had an affair and actually moved in with the woman, in another town. By that time, I thought the children were big enough to know the truth, so I told them "your dad will always be your dad, but he is going to live with another woman." Their dad told them I was lying and did not return to his affair. Guess who the children believed? Later, when we split and I began dating, he told them I was neglecting them.

In hindsight, the problem with "taking the high road" with some personalities (particularly narsisstic ones) is that they exploit your sheltering your children, your kindness, honesty and good character. In my case, my children grew to see these noble traits as character flaws, and their continued exploitation was proof that I was weak and gullible. They watched me be victimized and did not trust me that things would turn out ok.

My children are now teens; I wish I had known that the impact would be far too much for me to handle alone. I wish I had gotten - and stayed with- COMPETENT counseling for them and myself. I recommend it for you. Some things become too big to fight on your own. Don't wait until it is too late.

Let it go. Kids are smart.

Isn't the one asking this question trying to brainwash their children that the divorce was the other person's fault?

"Solving" this problem is the same as the problem itself.

The divorce was not the other person's fault. Both parties failed. If the one asking could understand that, there would probably be no divorce in the first place, though, now would there.

188189190
Divorce and Marriage Law
Henry VIII
Divorce

Can you marry your fiance if his wife refuses to give him a divorce?

no, your fiance has to be divorced first before he could marry another. if you forced to get married despite the divorce not granted, your marriage to your fiance is a void marriage -- not legal and existing from the start, and if you get pregnant and got kids, your kids will be illegitimated children because despite your marriage to your fiance but if he remains tied up with the first wife in the first marriage, in short, not divorced, then the first marriage subsist and remains valid.

No, he has to be divorced before he can get married again. But he can take her to court to get a divorce.

If you live in the United States, he can get a divorce even if she doesn't want to file. In many states it only takes a few months to a year to go through with or without the other spouses consent. In other states it might take longer depending.

A lot of it depends on how the spouse that won't let go decides to drag out paper work in the courts. One way or the other your man can get a divorce. He just has to file.

175176177
Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce
Divorce Documents

What legal options are available to a spouse to prevent a divorce from being granted?

United States

I am an attorney who practices in family court. Most states are "no fault" divorce states in which you can merely assert that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" as a basis for a dissolution of marriage. Now, if the other partner answers the petition in writing to the court denying that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" the court may require the parties to undergo some marriage counseling to determine if the marriage can be reconciled before granting the divorce. However, judges will not force parties to stay married if the petitioning spouse still wants to dissolve the marriage.

UK

If you apply for divorce and your spouse refutes it, most Judges accept your application irregardless of your spouse's response on the logic that if one person wants a divorce then the marriage is over.

173174175
Divorce and Marriage Law
Ohio
Divorce

How does an inmate in Ohio start with divorce procedures?

== == You must make an appointment with the Warden and then it will be taken before a Board. Usually you will be granted a lawyer from the State to start divorce proceedings. Your request is very common. Sorry to hear about your problems and hope it all works out for you in the future. While all states have established divorce procedures, the standard of evidence and the types of divorces allowed can vary from state to state, so its best to consult with an attorney to discuss the laws and requirements of your state before filing your petition for divorce.

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Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce

How do you get a divorce?

You need to visit a court and fill out documents for divorce. Next step is court sitting where you'll need to explain the reasons of the divorce and answer questions about the circumstances (here you can check which court to attend uscourts.gov). Also you can use help of relevant sites (like this onlinedivorcer com ) or lawyers, it'll save you some time but will cost more.
133134135
Divorce and Marriage Law
Lawyers
Divorce

Who should file in an uncontested divorce?

Uncontested Divorce means that there are no contested issues in dispute between the parties. All factors, i.e. marital home, assets, debts, custody, visitation, alimony, child support, even the family dog, have been amicably resolved between the Husband and Wife.

Parties have the option of filing with the Pro Se, or self help division, generally found at the family division at the Courthouse. Otherwise, attorneys are happy to assist parties in filing uncontested divorces for a minimal fee. Both parties must sign and agree with all issues, hence the term: uncontested.

154155156
Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce

Can you get a divorce if your spouse is incarcerated?

Yes, a person serving a sentence in a state or federal facility can have divorce petition (or other legal actions) served upon them, and has the legal right to respond through the prescribed facility regulations.

146147148
Marriage
Egypt
Divorce

Can Egyptians get divorced?

Yes, they can. For the Muslims on Islamic laws.

145146147
Divorce and Marriage Law
Lawyers
Divorce

How can you find out if the lawyer forged the judges name on a divorce decree?

Visit the court and request to see the divorce file. The original decree should be in the file along with an index of all the documents in the file. You can check the case index for the date the decree was entered. The court clerk can assist you and answer any questions you have about the decree being issued or being a forgery.

Visit the court and request to see the divorce file. The original decree should be in the file along with an index of all the documents in the file. You can check the case index for the date the decree was entered. The court clerk can assist you and answer any questions you have about the decree being issued or being a forgery.

Visit the court and request to see the divorce file. The original decree should be in the file along with an index of all the documents in the file. You can check the case index for the date the decree was entered. The court clerk can assist you and answer any questions you have about the decree being issued or being a forgery.

Visit the court and request to see the divorce file. The original decree should be in the file along with an index of all the documents in the file. You can check the case index for the date the decree was entered. The court clerk can assist you and answer any questions you have about the decree being issued or being a forgery.

123124125
Albania
Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce

How do you get divorce from Albanian?

Just like you would do with non-Albanians.

139140141
Divorce and Marriage Law
California
Divorce

How long does a spouse have to be separated before getting a divorce in Florida?

Florida law does not require a separation period before obtaining a divorce. Perhaps you are referring to the Marital Separation Agreement, which is the process of distribution of joint property/assets.

134135136
Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce
Divorce Documents

Legally what power does your wife have to move on with a separation and divorce if you refuse to sign the papers?

If most states, you do not need to prove "fault" to get a divorce or legal separation. She can hire an attorney and proceed however she deems fit.

AnswerShe has every right to proceed with the divorce. She does not have to have your permission to get a divorce. Answer

She does not need your signature. If you refuse to sign to acknowledge that you received the petition/complaint, she will have you served. If you refuse to sign a settlement agreement, she will ask for a trial date and have the judge decide how to divide your property and to declare you divorced.

134135136
Divorce and Marriage Law
Mexico
Divorce

How can a person who is in the US 8 months as a tourist from Mexico get a divorce in the US if the spouse lives in Mexico?

A person from Mexico that is currently here in the US and would like to get a divorce from a spouse in Mexico can file for a divorce. They must provide:name of spouse he/she would like to divorce still in Mexico, address, and provide information on how long applicant(person filing for the divorce in U.S.) has been in the U.S. with documentation like a ITIN, used for tax purpose and were the applicant works. Can be done without a lawyer, but the correct paper work has to be file and make an appointment to come in front of a judge.

AnswerHowever, if the person is a tourist and is not a legal resident of any US state, he/she cannot get divorced in the US.
133134135
Divorce and Marriage Law
California
Divorce

How can you find out if there is a marriage certificate or divorce in the state of California?

Contact "Vital Statistics" Write to: CA Office of Vital Records M.S. 5103 P.O. Box 997410 Sacramento, CA 95899-7410 I recently requested a birth certificate and found a postcard in my mailbox about 2 weeks later from the State. It informed me that the average processing time for birth and death certificates is 4 weeks. However, for marriage and divorce certificates, it's up to 2-3 years. Perhaps a public records company could find the information for you. My guess is that it would take 2 or 3 days instead of 2 or 3 years. But that's just a guess.

132133134
Breakups
Divorce

Is Melissa Evitts divorced from Brock Evitts?

brock evitts sr needs to die a slow and agonizing death and to answer your question no they are not and by the way divorced is spelled wrong

131132133
Divorce and Marriage Law
Divorce

In a divorce what states are considered to be in a woman's favor or a man's favor?

Check the divorce laws for both your State and and your County. (Search Google for "Michigan Washtenaw".) Many States are "no-fault". New York favors the husband. In California you can be "Cruised" if your husband files for divorce prior to your tenth anniversary. (To be "Cruised is to have spousal support preempted.) Many attorneys want to be "fair" and will cede your positions before you get to court. All judges are human and many are prejudiced. A judge from the ghetto will not think a wealthy woman should continue to be wealthy at the cost of her husband's company. Choose a lawyer by asking recently divorced acquaintances why their lawyer's strategy was special. It's not the knowledge of law; it's creating a strategy to deal with your spouse's blowhard attorney and a misogynist judge.

Best advice: Read your State's appeals court divorce judgments for the past three years.

More about certain locations:Escambia County Florida is a very pro-father system. Women stand very little chance at a fair hearing before these judges. It is so pro-men that it is difficult to find an attorney in the entire tri-county area willing to represent a female before the judges. If you live in Escambia County, Florida, are female, and need to take a dead beat father to court, think twice, because you may wind up losing custody altogether!
131132133
Divorce and Marriage Law
Citizenship and Marriage
Divorce

How do you file for divorce if your spouse has been deported?

Visit your local court and seek help filing a complaint for divorce. The court will advise you.

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