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The Dark Lord kills Bella, not knowing that he inadvertently split a piece of his soul into her after killing her parents. This allows Bella to come back to life and then kill the Dark Lord. Then Edward tells her that she has been dead the whole time, and then shows her the Statue of Liberty buried on the beach to show her that she wasn't on another planet, but on Earth the whole time. Jacob then shows up and explains how the Illuminati were not behind the murders, but rather it was a priest who wanted to be Pope. Then, her dad appears and tells her that she is not a genius codebreaker for the government, but actually has paranoid schizophrenia and her friends are not real. Really, we all should have seen THAT one coming. Finally, her mom dumps pigs blood on her just as she is made prom queen, and she freaks out and uses her psychic powers to kill everyone in the room, except for the imaginary Edward, who she asks "Wherever shall i go? Whatever shall I do?" and he replies "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

And then the end credits appear.

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14y ago

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