Boyfriend is still legally married should you move in together?

Answer 1

I think it really depends on a number of factors:

How long have you been together?

Is moving in something you both, genuinely, want? Is is something your partner feels pressured to do because of guilt over the situation, etc.?

Are you both on the same page in terms of what you want in a relationship? (ie can you see yourself marrying this person, can this person see themselves marrying you?, etc.)

Do you have a road map you have both agreed upon as far as moving the divorce along? Is the issue of him still being legally married to someone something you can accommodate?

If the issue of the legal marital status to someone besides yourself is a major issue in your relationship, it might be worth waiting a while until you and your partner can discuss the issue further and agree on when a reasonable time for the divorce to go through is.

Often times, people who are coming out of a marriage are slow to get the legal aspects of the divorce moving because 1) it's expensive and 2) there is often a comfortable relationship with their ex.

It is crucial that you make your feelings known to your partner about the relationship. Setting boundaries together about contact with the ex, their financial arrangements, etc. BEFORE you commit to move in will save you both a lot of stress after the fact.

In the course of figuring this all out one or both of you may realize it's not time yet for either of you to move in or even be in a relationship with one another. Patience pays off when it comes to this decision. Better to have everything flushed out before moving in instead of discovering this after you've signed a lease or purchased a home and you're in a financially costly mess together.