How do you deal with controlling parents?

Answer 1

Speak to them and be nice you never know what they could say

You need to let them know that you are mature and responsible, so that they will let you have a bit of slack. You can show them this by keeping up with your schoolwork and whatever chores you have, by showing good judgment and not using drugs or alcohol (or having other unhealthy habits like going to internet porn or gambling websites), by showing maturity in not having unsafe sex, and by communicating in a mature way instead of screaming and having tantrums. One good way to communicate is by using what is called "I Messages" where you start your sentence with the word "I" and state how you FEEL instead of saying "You always ___" or "You are so ___." When other people hear you describing how you feel, they are more likely to listen to you and pay attention to what you say; when you start a sentence with "You" they are going to feel defensive and start arguing with you.

Once you have shown your parents how mature you can act, then speak to them politely and ask why they feel they must control whatever is bothering you. Ask them "How can we decide on some more grown-up rules about this?" - asking them to help you decide on rules is an excellent way to start a mature discussion, and they will be more likely to bend a bit if you speak in this way. Compromise - tell them you will follow the other rules if they will let up a bit on one certain rule - or negotiate for what you want by agreeing to help out more with some chores or extra work if they will agree to what you want.

Parents actually want you to grow up and learn how to make good decisions! Keep this fact in mind when you speak to them - sometimes you need to remind them that you are ready to make good decisions, but they do want you to be successful.