How do you get over being devalued by a narcissistic ex after he lauded you and things went so well in the beginning?

Answer 1

You must realise that no matter what you do or don't do this person will keep following this cycle. It is how they operate. They will do this to any woman they are with. They put you on a pedastal only to take it away from you like tearing the rug from under. Its done on purpose to make you a slave to them. They thrive on any insecurities. Show them indifference and they cannot handle it. They want you at their mercy.What you do is ignore their exsistence. Do not look, glance, talk, smile, phone, email, shake hands, hug, open snail mail, answer the door to them, keep common friends. Avoid them like the plaque because in a sense they are. They seek to wipe out your idenity and replace it with one that suits them which means a slave. They are like vampires who want to inhale your being for themselves. I have relaised these types are dangerous. They can make you lose faith in the goodness of people because of the damage they do in your life. You question your own sanity and perceptions. You may think, is he really like this, or is he really so mean and am I reading this right? Yes you are. He is out to destroy.Life is too short to be at the mercy of a person. This will never get better with him. Avoid him as hard as it will be. You will begin to feel stronger. You will survive, then heal.

AnswerDevaluation is so hard to cope with since we are people who do enjoy being appreciated for our best points. Despite whatever level of self-esteem one has, it is easy for your "ego," or your inner self, to be based on what people say to you, or how they act. That is fine, but when they suddenly change course to another reality, it can shake you to your deepest soul. You go through all of the self examination because you aren't selfish, or mean, worthless, or any of those other descriptions they may have heaped upon you. You are the same, great person they saw the first time and you have been considerate of them to a fault. It takes awhile, but taping affirmations to your mirror, being selfish with your time for awhile (do what YOU want to first thing in the morning for YOURSELF), reading for inspiration (try the Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach), as well as spending time with your good positive friends and you will soon find yourself.