If a partner chooses his or her blood relations over his or her spouse in many situations is this abuse?

Answer 1

Abuse is any pattern of injurious behavior repeated despite the protests of the victim and her explicit requests to stop.

Preferring his family of origin to you can be injurious and, under certain circumstances - if done flagrantly and deliberaltely - is abusive.

My abusive ex boyfriend usually choose his family, especially his mother, over me in EVERYTHING!

He not only chose them, he also got them to hate me because they believed his lies. Oh, and of course, they were ALWAYS around when he (as only abusers know how to do because I wouldn't have the first clue) looked like the victim and I was the abusive one. Digusting really.

I guess it would really depend on what the partner is doing in these situations to fully answer your question.

I would think the answer is "yes" because when you are constantly denied your right to your opinion on how to "make it better" or to "make it stop", it eventually leads to violence. I have been married for 15 years to a man who was raised by a narcissistic father and co-narcissistic mother. All he could ever see was their side of everything or keeping the peace. They would start the problem and if I was upset they would begin another problem because of how I was feeling. They ruined every celebration we ever had. Our marriage was all about making them happy and meeting their needs on a daily basis. My husband and I never fought about the laundry, toothpaste or the kids (we have 3 sons). We only fought about his parents and I always had to have them in my life no matter how bad or how sick the situation they created was. Whenever we were invited to their home, I did not want to go (no right of refusal) and he would harass me, follow me around the house screaming and yelling at me because they were his parents and I did not respect them! Meanwhile, it was them who had no respect for their own family...only outsiders.