Is a male narcissist more likely to have to an affair and blame it on the wife?

Answer 1

YES, YES and YES!!!! I was engaged to a narcissist for six months, after a four year relationship, and finally broke it off. My fiancee liked to compare me to my other girl friends (she's more interesting to talk to, she's more outgoing, etc). He even dated another woman at the beginning of our relationship and only told me two years later, to get it off his chest. He said I should get over it, and not feel hurt because he told me and it was so long ago. The first time he met one of my best friends, he asked her to go on a camping trip alone for a week. Embarrassed, she said to me, "hey, I think YOU'D like to do that". When I told him how much this hurt my feelings, he made me out to be a jealous girlfriend who did not trust him and said they'd be going as friends (he only met her once before). When I told him that this was inappropriate and that my friend felt embarrassed and I felt demeaned, he accused me of being jealous. Later, he would try to exaggerate my "jealousy" by making it a point to inform me of his whereabouts. Whenever he would call me "jealous", I would explain to him that I wanted him to have female friends, but that I felt like he should be able to tell me when they have plans. He treated me like I was paranoid and said he told me everything. When he got to the point of verbally abusing me for bing "paranoid and jealous", I made a last ditch effort to prove that I was not only sane but that he felt comfortably lying to me. I created a fake email account, and pretended to be a woman from his past that he admired, but whom he had lost touch with. Posing as this woman, I told him I was going to be in town for the holidays, and would like to get together. I made a point of picking a date that my fiancee and I had plans. My fiancee repsonded to the email with delight, mentioned he was engaged, but that it was at least a year away, and that he wanted to get together that night, but did not get the email in time. (he even lied to the fake person, and avoided telling her he was with me at a dinner party). He told her to call him at work, and not at home. When I showed him the email, he said it was sick of me to pose and someone else, blamed me for having to lie and even tried to make me understand why he would cheat on me. I felt worse because I had to resort to such tactics, and even after I made a valid point, he ignored my feelings, and offered reasons to cheat on me. He said that I was not mature enough to handle him having a relationship with other female friends, forgetting that I too had male relationships . He could not understand, that I was not jealous, and that I was not accusing him of being unfaithful, but that I felt disrespected, because he would be willing to make plans with other women in secret. He even went so far as to say that he lied to me for my protection. Narcissists cannot see past their own noses and have little interest in understanding how you feel. It's all about you understanding them. Thank you so much for your answer, I am actually the one that asked the question in the first place. I am convinced that I MUST get away from this man that I thought I loved for over 18 years. I would love to be able to talk to some of you in forum or chat room. Is it okay to leave my email address in a response or is there a forum of this nature? Please help, I'm realizing I need to get out and just don't know what to do. Thank you and Peace. Wow!! I married a N when I was 18- his first affair took place 2 wks before we were married. When he told me, we were in the car on a 6 hour trip, by the time the car ride was over I was convinced that it was my fault. He had a 3 year affair later in our marriage and lied lied lied, when I showed him the truth, again he blamed me and our son. We have been divorced for 10 years. He continues to this day to blame everyone around him for everything he does. As of late, he became abusive with our son and is blaming our SON!! Oh, and me of course. He can't keep his stories straight and is shaking in his boots because all of his secrets have been revealed. Truth scares Him and the less emotion I reveal the angrier he gets. He has gone as far as to accuse my sons therapist of being a pedifile!! Do You believe in Evil? I do!