What would you like to do?
Is it common after leaving the abusive relationship to be in denial about the fact that you were actually treated that badly and constantly question whether or not these things both mentally and physically happened to you?
Review the warning signs and decide for yourself. A mentally abusive relationship caused two 'feelings' in me. I reacted with confusion to a pattern of speech that my abuser …would use. The purpose of the mental abuse is to instill self doubt in you and then you are easier to control. The second re-action I had was a type of emotional numbness. This came after a period of crazy making verbal abuse. If you feel confused around your abuser and then notice a numbness that is a good clue that your are bing mentally manipulated.
If you're on the prowl and looking fine can abusive men pick up on the fact that you were just treated badly?
Answer . You may be on the prowl and looking fine, but you're headed for dangerous turf. Some men can smell these qualities a mile away, so don't be "A cat on a hot tin ro…of!" Watch who you date and take it slow and easy. I can understand that you feel like a caged bird set free after being in an abusive situation, but that's all the more reason to take it slow and easy and any man/woman that has been abused should seek out therapy. You haven't taken enough time to get to know yourself or what your strong points are. Your chances of picking another abusive partner is over 90%. You may not mean too, but abusive partner demean their victims and leave them feeling powerless, lack independence and a form of brain-washing has occured whether you know it or not. It's great fun to prowl and it's like being a kid in a candy shop, but you could pick up the wrong guy and not be quite so lucky this time around.\n. \nI led my life by rule of thumb ... I got to know what I was all about, became independent (only trusting myself and my gut instincts) then I got into a serious relationship. I am my own person and I don't have to rely on a man 100%. Nope, not a man hater at all, in fact I highly regard most men, but just like to be independent and know within myself I can get along in this world on my own steam if I have too.\n. \nPlease be careful out there. Again "yes" many men of an abusive nature can snort out the fact you are easily manipulated. Be careful!\n. \nGood luck\nMarcy
What should you do if you're infatuated with the man who got you pregnant but he constantly treats you badly but you want to work things out for the baby?
Answer . Infatuated with a person is not love. He has an abusive character and because you are pregnant this will just make matters worse. His behavior is telling you that …he's not happy you are pregnant. I am guessing here, but bet he could have said, "Who's is it?" They always do.. You won't be doing the baby any favors by staying with this jerk. If you think things are tough now, wait until you have a wee babe crying through the night and see what a nice guy he is then (if he stays with you that long.) It's time to move on hon. This guy is not for you! He doesn't want to be tied down and you sure don't want a full life of misery.. Talk to your parents, a relative (such as grandparents) for help. There are also places for young women to go until their baby is due, and also lots of programs to help you get on your feet so you can support the baby. Don't settle for less and get rid of this jerk.
Answer . \njust tell your self that u need to leave and that you want to leave and as you say it every day you will get the mental courage to leave i swear on it that you …will... iv tryed it so many times!!!!!
If somesome states they are living in an abusive relationship what abuses are being perpertrated against them with reference to physical mental verbal monetary abuse?
Answer . You sound like the type of person that disects problems to the inth degree, but, also you are curious enough to get to the bottom of it and hopefully try to help t…his person.. PHYSICAL could mean that this person is either beaten or is sexually abused and may have been since they were a child. Usually people that are abused when younger seek out partners that abuse (it's the only way of life they know and they have been brain-washed and had their confidence and dignity stripped from them.) I volunteer at an Abused Women's Center and I've seen everything from missing teeth, blackened eyes, broken bones, bruises and have seen on more than one occasion women who have had a botched job of their throats being cut. It's not a pretty sight. These women have scars all over their bodies and try their best to cover them up. They feel ashamed inside as if they should be doing more and fighting back harder, but the truth of the matter is, a man in most cases is simply stronger than a woman and it's been a man's world for far too long, so many laws will back him and not her.. MENTAL ABUSE can be almost as damaging as being sexually abused and it leaves just as many scars in an individual. When someone is mentally abusive the abuser berates their victim in front of others so they are sure their victim looks lesser in the eyes of others and they will constantly put them down in the privacy of their own homes often telling them they are pretty much rotten at everything they do (not true of course.) Abusers are controlling and their victim is often a prisoner of the very home they should feel safe in. The victim may not be allowed to see family or friends or even go out to a movie with friends. The abuser always has to be there. In some cases the abuser will ALLOW the victim to work, but will actually go so far as to figure out the distance from home to where she works and clock her! If she should be late because of something as simple as a traffic jam the fight is on and the abuser is in a "need to know" mode.. I would also like to add that abused women will often entice abusers to abuse her rather than the children. In other words take the focus point off the children and let the abuser go after her. Now that takes guts! . MONETARY abuse is when the abuser takes total control of the finances in the family and you can be sure the women and their children will see less of the money and the abuser will have all the comforts he wants (as far as their money will take them of course.) Usually if they own a home the abuser only has it in his name and in many cases the abuser doesn't want his victim to have a car. He will dole out every cent and probably check the grocery bill when she gets home from shopping (if he allows her to do that simple chore.). It takes great courage for a victim of an abuser to leave her abuser and seek help, but there is help out there. There are the "Abused Women's Centers" that will take abused women in and send them off to a "safe house" where they will be protected, given counseling, and also in some cases legal counsel. Also women of abuse that have children have had the fight driven out of them, so they'd rather stay in the abusive situation then chance losing their children. These women are drained! Women of abuse are actually survivors and courageous and not weak at all. They do what they have to do to stay alive, and, if lucky, more and more are getting away from their abusers. The laws in the past have never protected women who were raped or abused in any other way, but those laws are changing quickly and especially in Canada. Groups of women such as myself and many others I know are making sure these laws are being changed and if it takes years of red tape so be it. One does not want to mess with a baby boomers or older women .... we're usually smarter, wiser and will fight to the finish.. Marcy
Physical abuse is one or more episodes of aggressive behavior, usually resulting in physical injury with possible damage to internal organs, sense organs, the central nervous… system, or the musculoskeletal system of another person (Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. Â© 2009, Elsevier). Verbal abuse is the use of language to manipulate, control, ridicule, insult, humiliate, belittle, vilify, and show disrespect and disdain to another, and is often a component of other types of abuse (http://www.nemasys.com/ghostwolf/Resources/abusedef.shtml#verbal). Sexual abuse is defined as; 1. The forcing of unwanted sexual activity by one person on another, as by the use of threats or coercion. 2. Sexual activity that is deemed improper or harmful, as between an adult and a minor or with a person of diminished mental capacity. (The American HeritageÂ® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright Â©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company). Mental abuse , also called psychological abuse is defined by Health Canada as motivated by urges for "power and control", and defines emotional abuse as including rejecting, degrading, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting/exploiting and "denying emotional responsiveness" as characteristic of emotional abuse (www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/pdfs/emotion.pdf). PHYSICAL ABUSE is when one partner punches, hits, pushes the person hard, throws them down stairs, causes broken bones, bruising, black eyes, missing teeth or waves a knife, gun or any object that they may use to harm their mate. IT IS NOT physical abuse if one gets into an argument and they tussle a little on the bed and break out laughing, or, if one may SLIGHTLY push the other person. This is a human reaction, but if it's hard enough to push the person off balance or do them hard that IS physical abuse. MENTAL ABUSE is when one partner demeans, degrades and calls the other person names taking their confidence away from them. It's a controlling mechanism. Shouting profanities, yelling at them that they can't do anything right and the person feels like they are walking on egg shells all the time IS mental abuse! IT IS NOT mental abuse if a couple get into a heated argument and may pass off a couple of unsavory names to each other. It is not abuse if one slams out of the house. It is not abuse if they decide not to sleep with each other because they are too angry. It's when it's on-going and never stops and is degrading to their mate that it's mental abuse. Many couples lose it and if they say they don't they are lying! As long as one does not cause bodily injury or cools off after arguing and apologizes and sits down and tries to work out the problems then this is considered a healthy relationship. Humans are simply not perfect so we have to be careful to decide what is truly physical and mental abuse. No one should EVER hit another, but name-calling often comes along with many relationships as long as it's not an every day occurance.
Answer . try being in there shoes and let them know that your there for them and tell them that its hard to confess but you feel better and safer
How do you help your daughter leave an abusive relationship but she is in denial and won't listen or reach out to the domestic violence hotline or centers?
Answer . everyone tried helping me when i was in that situation. denial was my biggest thing. one day i just got fed up and found the strength to leave. she probally thin…ks one day it will all stop and go away. but the truth is it wont. just keep showing her that you care, and others as well and she come around. it took me 2 years and a child later to finally leave. keep talking to her and find out what is really going on.
Answer . Yes, more often than women or men think. Most men are brought up not to hit women and stick to that practice so when a man is hit, slapped, shoved, scratched or h…as things thrown at him or she is verbally abusive he takes it because most men feel everything is revolved around women being abused and that women are the weaker sex. Men don't realize that there are programs out there to help them and that society is becoming more aware that men can be physically or mentally abused as well as women.. Men that are abused are basically in their own private world of hell. They can't tell family, they can't talk to their male friends because most other men would wonder what is wrong with him for not 'slapping her down and controlling the situation.' The poor guy being abused can't win for losing.. I know two cases of female abuse against a male mate. My girlfriend's son is married to a young woman that is a heavy drinker and gets nasty when she does drink. One night he was in bed sound asleep and she went over and punched him square in the nose! Of course he woke up in great shock and couldn't figure out what happened to him. He staggered to the bathroom to look in the mirror at his bloody nose and she nailed him behind the knees with a golf club! He hit the floor like a rock! As soon as he could function he picked up the phone, called the police and had her taken away in handcuffs and let her stew overnight in jail. She has never hit him since, but is verbally abusive.. The other case was a man that works with my brother. This man would come to work with stitches in his face and black eyes. When asked what happened he would cover it up by saying he got into a brawl at a pub the night before rather than admit his wife beat him up. He eventually confided in my brother. Just like some women feeling they are stuck with an abusive man, this man felt he was doomed to stay with his wife and was actually a victim of her abuse! One day he came into work and announced his wife had a massive heart attack and died. Of course the coworkers were saddened to hear this (what other reaction could they show) and he smiled and said, 'I'm free at last!' Sad, but true.
How can I help my 14-year-old daughter without alienating her if she is in a verbally physical CPS abusive relationship against her father and is in denial?
I would arrange counselling for her to talk to. Sometimes at that age we don't want to confide in our parents and feel like the world is against us. but if you want to talk to… her, just be upfront and honest. Way to thrase things, I think there is a problem with your father etc .. I feel that this is upsetting you, me and your father and makes me feel upset, sad frustrated etc .. I would like us to talk about it or arrange to go see a councellor cause I am really worried about you etc .... with out putting the blame on her. It is usually not until we are adults we see that things aren't so bad after all. Maybe even try your husband and yourself to go to positive parenting classes.
I think that it is very difficult in most if not all states and court rooms. I do think that mental abuse is far worse than physical, which is recognized. Physical abuse, can …heal more quickly. Emotional, sometimes never does. To prove, you willlhave to start a journal or some type of documenattion process. You will have to write down everything that happens to you in that documentation and keep it hidden. Over time, you will hopefully have enough documentation to show a habit, or trend and the courts may look at that. Othewise, keep yourself safe, and If it's your child or a child that you are trying to keep this from happening to, just fill their heads with the right way to be through demonstration, and positivity, and will grow up and be able to leave and make their own choices one day.
If the person you are with is abusing you, you will lose confidence in yourself and are taking a chance of being hurt bad enough to have permanent damage--or being killed. The… longer it goes on, the harder it will be to break up. Unfortunately, that is the only option--the person has to own up to their problem and get counseling. You cannot solve the problem by staying. Statistically, if they do move back in, the same pattern is likely to recur.
In Abused Men
Depends on how you take the treatment and what kind of treatment it is. For instance, if the bad treatment is merely just your parents talking harshly to you or them treating …you differently from a sibling, then take it to heart to be fair to your kids. Use it rather than let it get to you. This is coming from a guy whose parent's did treat their kids differently.If the treatment is abuse, then you might want to seek help in other places than a wiki.
The kid feels insecure, threaten, kids might pee in the bed, loneliness, might were big clothes in a summers day to hide stuff! Often smells that come off an abuse kid might g…ive clues! Now the after math could be anorexia, serial killer, really insecure kid! Drug addiction and a lot of other obvious consequences
Physical or verbal abusers are the creation of their own environment in which they grew up. Abusers generally single out shy or lonely women (even if those women are high prof…ile individuals in the public's eye or hold down a career and abuse in not reserved for the uneducated or poverty stricken women.) The abuser is often charming; loving and may even shower her with gifts. Abusers often are so charming they can even win over other family members. The first signs of an abuser is when he/she may tell their mate what to wear when going out; order their meals for them at restaurants; tell their mate which friends they do not like and insist their mate give up those friends and in some cases even family members. In some cases there may be a disagreement between the two and he may punch or slap her and although upset she will most likely forgive him either blaming herself or it was just a one time thing. The abuser is weaving the plan to isolate their victim. Once they have their victim isolated from family and friends then little by little the physical and verbal abuse begins. The male abuser will consider his mate to be chattel (his property) to do with as he pleases. Women abusers can be both physically and verbally abusive to their mates as well and feel that the man is her property, but is not as likely to isolate him from his family or friends because men do not often discuss such matters out of fear of looking weak and unmanly. Men who marry abusive women have been taught not to hit a woman and therefore do not. The abusive female spouse can kick; scratch; punch; bite and throw items at her mate as well as spew out verbal abuse trying to take over control of the victim's mind to make them believe they are worthless and take away their self confidence. There are Abused Women's Centers in most States and Canada for both women and men.
Sometimes it may be hard to get out of an abusive relationship. This is because violent relationships often go in cycles. After a person is violent, he or she may apologize an…d promise never to hurt you again, and even say that they will work on the relationship. It may be a while before that person acts violently again. These ups and downs can make it hard to leave a relationship. It's hard to leave someone you care about. You may be scared or ashamed to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, or you may be simply scared to be alone. You may be afraid that no one will believe you, or that your friend or partner will hurt you more if you tell someone. Whatever the reasons, leaving an unhealthy relationship is hard but something you must do, and you'll need help to do it. Abusive relationships are very unhealthy for you. You might have trouble sleeping, or have headaches or stomach aches. You might feel depressed, sad, anxious, or nervous. You may also blame yourself, feel guilty, and have trouble trusting other people in your life. Staying in an abusive relationship can hurt your self-confidence and make it hard for you to believe in yourself. If you are being physically abused, you can be the victim of injuries that could cause permanent damage. You should definitely leave the relationship if you are getting hurt, if you have bruises or pain, or if you are being threatened with physical harm in any way. Remember that the most important reason to leave an unhealthy relationship is because you deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy and fun.