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Is your partner a narcissist

Updated: 8/16/2019
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15y ago

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you'd have to tell us more about your partner.

Is Your Partner a Narcissist?

Answer True or False # He loves accolades, compliments, and recognition. # He exaggerates his achievements. # He brags about his prowess as a lover and expects you to lavish praise on his performance. # Nothing is ever his fault; he can justify just about anything he does. # Anything you can do, he can do better. # Anything you know, he knows more. # He's charming and attentive with people in positions of power. # He likes to associate with popular or important people. # He doesn't have much time for you because he puts so much energy into his job or a hobby. # He takes pride in his appearance and is well-groomed. # His eyes scan the room when you're talking. # He can be cold and dismissive to those he thinks are less important or of no use to him. # He doesn't notice if you aren't satisfied after sex. # If you disagree with him, he disregards your opinions. # He expects you to always look good. # If he doesn't like what you're wearing, he criticizes you. # He plays mind games, alternately acting committed and distant. # He demands what he wants, whether it's the corner office or the best table at a restaurant. # He expects people to cater to his whims, wants, and needs. # He twists all of your arguments to make you seem like the guilty one. # Even if he is in the wrong, he'll act like he's the victim. # If things are going wrong in his life, he blames anything and anyone but himself. # He can be mean and insulting. # He's a bit of a flirt, or you've heard others refer to him as a "player." # If he feels someone has put him down, he's likely to lash out. Scoring Key:

Count the number of true statements. 8 or fewer:

Keeper

He's a regular guy whose ego lies within normal limits. Yes, he may sometimes be boastful, especially if you answered true to items 1 to 6. And true answers from 7 to 10 mean he might be vain-or simply an ambitious man on his way up the corporate ladder. "A person can display a few narcissistic traits, but not have a full-on personality disorder," Buehler says. "Our culture breeds these qualities. Think of the audacity of some American Idol contestants!" 9 to 19:

Braggart

"This is a person who is moderately full of himself," says W. Keith Campbell, PhD, associate psychology professor at the University of Georgia and author of the book When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself. The key is, he explains, to evaluate how your guy is narcissistic in the context of his overall character. For example, true answers to items 11 to 16 indicate a disturbing lack of empathy and compassion. But false answers to those statements indicate that his positive traits override his grandiose tendencies. 20 or more:

Egomaniac

Watch out! Your partner might be a full-blown narcissist-especially if you answered true to many questions from 17 to 25. These statements point to a sense of entitlement or aggression-the nastiest components of Narcissism. "In that case, you have cause for real concern, and he could get worse," says Campbell. "If it were me, I would run like hell, especially if you see signs of violence, infidelity, abuse, controlling behavior, or anger."

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Why would a narcissist give away a present from his partner to someone else?

To make the partner feel worthless


Does a narcissist enjoy seeing his partner hurting?

He might, but it wouldn't be because of his narcisism. The true narcissist cares about his partner's feelings only to the extent that they reflect on him. The old joke is apt. "But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"


Does the narcissist hurt or miss the partner after a breakup?

Yes, sometimes a narcissist will contact their ex after a break up because the narcissist cannot imagine their ex with anyone else as the narcissist has a complex of being the greatest at everything including relationships and is ego maniacal.


What is the difference between sociopath and narcissist men?

There are technical differences, but it is largely a matter of degree. Neither is likely to ever be a decent partner.


Why is your ex narcissist partner telling lies about you?

It is what they do. Why do flies fly? That is what you would expect them to do. They are very self centered. That is why you don't get involved with people like that.


Will a narcissist pie his partner to humiliate her?

as in "throw pies at her"? It's not the favoured method of humiliating people in real life but I suppose it could happen.


Your narcissist partner says he hasent cheated on you but you think he has what should you believe?

To believe in him requires you to trust with your heart. But if in your heart you believe otherwise, follow your instinct.


Campbell (2005): The Chocolate Cake hypothesis -?

At first, narcissist are very appealing but over time however, partner turns controlling and not concerned with interests


How to turn the tables in a narcissist relationship?

Unfortunately, narcissism is a life long disease. If your partner is clinically narcissistic, there is very little hope of him or her ever changing.


Why people are attracted to a person with narcissism?

Because you believe the best in people and take them at face value. You believe in giving praise and encouragement instead of criticism. I have been married to a narcissist. It was my second marriage and lasted 9 years and he has just cheated on me and lied to me in ways I find unbelievable. he is now busy in his new fantasy land relationship, denigrating me. Fortunately I have lots of friends who have realised what he was like and are keeping me sane. He has been through strings of relationships. I know I am fortunate I can walk away but he filled my life.On the face of it, there is no (emotional) partner or mate, who typically "binds" with a narcissist. They come in all shapes and sizes. The initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. The narcissist puts on his best face ? the other party is blinded by budding love. A natural selection process occurs only much later, as the relationship develops and is put to the test.Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, is always onerous, often harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist indicates, therefore, the parameters of the personality of the survivor. She (or, more rarely, he) is moulded by the relationship into The Typical Narcissistic Mate/Partner/Spouse.First and foremost, the narcissist's partner must have a deficient or a distorted grasp of her self and of reality. Otherwise, she (or he) is bound to abandon the narcissist's ship early on. The cognitive distortion is likely to consist of belittling and demeaning herself ? while aggrandising and adoring the narcissist. The partner is, thus, placing himself in the position of the eternal victim: undeserving, punishable, a scapegoat. Sometimes, it is very important to the partner to appear moral, sacrificial and victimised. At other times, she is not even aware of this predicament. The narcissist is perceived by the partner to be a person in the position to demand these sacrifices from her partner, being superior in many ways (intellectually, emotionally, morally, financially).The status of professional victim sits well with the partner's tendency to punish herself, namely: with her masochistic streak. The tormented life with the narcissist is, as far as the partner is aware, a just punitive measure.In this respect, the partner is the mirror image of the narcissist. By maintaining a symbiotic relationship with him, by being totally dependent upon the source of masochistic supply (which the narcissist most reliably constitutes and most amply provides) ? the partner enhances certain traits and encourages certain behaviours, which are at the very core of narcissism.The narcissist is never whole without an adoring, submissive, available, self-denigrating partner. His very sense of superiority, indeed his False Self, depends on it. His sadistic Superego switches its attentions from the narcissist (in whom it often provokes suicidal ideation) to the partner, thus finally obtaining an alternative source of sadistic satisfaction.It is through self-denial that the partner survives. She denies her wishes, hopes, dreams, aspirations, sexual, psychological and material needs, and much else besides. She perceives her needs as threatening because they might engender the wrath of the narcissist's God-like supreme figure. The narcissist is rendered in her eyes even more superior through and because of this self-denial. Self-denial undertaken to facilitate and ease the life of a "great man" is more palatable. The "greater" the man (=the narcissist), the easier it is for the partner to ignore her own self, to dwindle, to degenerate, to turn into an appendix of the narcissist and, finally, to become nothing but an extension, to merge with the narcissist to the point of oblivion and of dim memories of one's self.The two collaborate in this macabre dance. The narcissist is formed by his partner inasmuch as he forms her. Submission breeds superiority and masochism breeds sadism. The relationships are characterised by rampant emergentism: roles are allocated almost from the start and any deviation meets with an aggressive, even violent reaction.The predominant state of the partner's mind is utter confusion. Even the most basic relationships ? with husband, children, or parents ? remain bafflingly obscured by the giant shadow cast by the intensive interaction with the narcissist. A suspension of judgment is part and parcel of a suspension of individuality, which is both a prerequisite to and the result of living with a narcissist. The partner no longer knows what is true and right and what is wrong and forbidden.The narcissist recreates for the partner the sort of emotional ambience that led to his own formation in the first place: capriciousness, fickleness, arbitrariness, emotional (and physical or sexual) abandonment. The world becomes uncertain and frightening and the partner has only one thing to cling to: the narcissist.And cling she does. If there is anything which can safely be said about those who emotionally team up with narcissists, it is that they are overtly and overly dependent.The partner doesn't know what to do ? and this is only too natural in the mayhem that is the relationship with the narcissist. But the typical partner also does not know what she wants and, to a large extent, who she is and what she wants to become.These unanswered questions hamper the partner's ability to gauge reality, evaluate and appraise it for what it is. Her primordial sin is that she fell in love with an image, not with a real person. It is the voiding of the image that is mourned when the relationship ends.ANSWERYou may have been raised by a narcissistic parent which makes you a magnet for them.Ive been raised by a narsistic father and mother and brother and sister!And i always seem to attract men into my life that are narcisists, and i don't get itWhy do you think if you have been raised my a narcissistic parent you become a magnet for them?? pls explaine, Ta :)


Will a narcissist dump a supplier due to aging?

they dont like the idea of ageing, therefore dont like it when their partner shows signs of ageing, it reminds them of their immortality.


Why do narcissists come back?

Narcissists need to always be complimented; dramatize their lifestyle or indeavors;adored; admired, etc., and it's 'running out of supplies' for the narcissist when they want to come back to the partner they were with. This means the narcissist is not being supplied to boost his or her's ego and they know they can more than likely get the boost (like a drug addiction) from their former partner.