What does it take to become a legal historian?

Answer 1

On the Lighter Side:

First you must go down to the Department of Historical Antiquities and obtain a license, but before they will grant you a license they will first insist you go the Internal Revenue Service and obtain a tax identification number. Once you have obtained your tax identification number then you must go back the DHA and take a written test that is mostly multiple choice questions with a final essay for good measure. Once you've successfully passed the written test, then you must go with an agent from the DHA and take a field test, where the agent will grade you on your historical perspective, your proclivity toward bias, (it's very important to be very biased if you hope to obtain a license), and your ability to wax poetic. It is less important to the DHA that you get the facts straight and more important that you sound like you speak with authority. Once you've successfully completed the field test and the agent gives you a passing grade, then you must stand in line for 72 hours waiting to get your picture taken, so you can have a photographic license.

Of course, it is much easier just to be an outlaw historian, much like many of the historians who teach in our universities and public schools today. Outlaw historians such as John Shlessinger JR. or even Gore Vidal, neither of whom are particularly interested in the facts as they spend most of their time pushing their own political agendas. Besides, there is something kind of cool about being an outlaw historian. Billy the Kid might not be famous today, but if he were an outlaw historian instead of just a plain old outlaw he most likely would have lived well beyond his 30's.