What should you do if you've been married 33 years and your husband cheated on you and really fell in love and cries to you about her but chooses to stay with you?

Answer 1

If you have children, save the marriage for their sake. If not, then it is really up to you. You have to weigh a few things: do you love him? Is the relationship worth saving? Will he cheat again? Would he be willing to move to another state so he never has the temptation to see the other woman again? An affair is serious, it is betrayal and destroys most couples. It is the rare few who choose to work through it who will come out stronger in the end. I disagree with the first answer. This part may not apply to you but.. Do you really want to raise your daughter(s) to grow up and be so insecure that they would stay with a man that is crying about another woman?!?!? Or would you want to raise your son(s) thinking that marriage means nothing and that he doesn't need to respect his wife? Anyways after 33 years of marriage your kids would be old enough to see that you deserve to be happy and loved and treated like the queens we women are. Obviously 33 yrs doesn't mean much to him so I would walk away and find someone who will care about you so much that he would be willing to cry for you. I do have to say you are some woman for still being there and not throwing his ass out on the front door step the first time her name came out of his mouth. I would have kicked his ass out so fast he wouldn't have even known what hit him. Everyone deserves someone who will be true to them and be there for THEM, you are no different. Good Luck. I'm not making excuses for your husband, but there is no doubt he's going through "Andropause" (was called mid-life crisis before that) and it's similar to menopause (starts around the age of 40). They can have hot flashes, mood swings, become depressed, confused and want to retain their youth and often feel they haven't had a chance to sow their wild oats. Many men can go through Andropause quite smoothly and although may get a little moody or change a wee bit they don't always go out and cheat on their wives. After 33 years of marriage I think it's worth communicating with him and tell him flat out that if he doesn't go with you to marriage counseling or seeking out therapy together then he's has to get out of the house! By accepting his whining about this woman you are enabling him to continue with this and the reason he is doing this is he wants you to make the decision for him so he won't feel guilty about what he has done. Don't sit by and take it anymore. It's therapy or the door!