What should you do if you are married to a narcissist and you want to preserve the marriage?

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I want to stay married to my narcissist and have gone through many leaps and bounds to improve the communication between us. However I find it extremely difficult to keep up with it and not let it get to me emotionally. It's exhausting to stay on top of a narcissist emotions and not end up feeling deflated. Not only am I trying to stay on top of it for myself but I have children that I have to protect and I'm very sad to see that he's rubbing off on them and feel that they will carry narcissistic traits as well. I'm completely exhausted and fear that once my children have grown and heaven forbid they treat their future spouses they way I've been treated. I fear I will have no interest or want to stay with him. Why wait until it's damaged everyone to just have it all end eventually. Under the same breath... I'm extremely scared to leave my N husband. There has never been physical abuse but I can't even imagine the mental abuse I will endure if I leave him.

My Question is... How do you get a N to know they are an N and seek help for their disorde

You WONT they will not ADMIT there at fault they will say its YOU.....RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN away from him get a life......you only have ONE life and you deserve better he will grind you down untuil you have no life left in you sorry but this is the truth ive ben there got the t/shirt/video /DVD and its an AWFUL LIFE.

I have to believe there is someway to get them to see it. I've have dealt with this for 19 years and I have to say I've been there, done that and got the t/shirt/video/DVD and all that too. It's been a constant struggle. I don't believe there to be a better answer out there if I leave him. My children will suffer regardless if he is rubbing off. Again the repercussions of me leaving him would be much more damaging then staying. It has become an art to keep him where I have him. If I leave - what he is capable of unleashing is too scary to consider. I'm just tired and need motivation and hope.
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