What would you do if after being married for 2 years your spouse confesses to cheating on you the entire 3 year relationship before you were married?

Answer 1

AnswerNothing wrong with playing the field. But you have to wonder about the years after marriage. That would be a different light. AnswerAlthough it is never honorable to cheat on a girlfriend/boyfriend, a person really has no committment to each other at this point. This does not necessarily mean that your spouse has cheated on you during marriage. The best advice is to simply sit down and talk it out.

Some mates will even cheat once in their marriage, but regret it, and once should always be forgiveable, but no more than that. Once people start cheating more than once they will usually continue to do so. Trust is a big factor in a marriage and if your spouse admitted to cheating on you while going with you and it was not in anger that they told you this, then this person must feel guilty about it and wanted to get it off of his/her chest. That's commitment!

Marcy

Answer

Who the f*** is Marcy???? Is there something psychologically wrong with Marcy? What does "that's commitment!" mean? Was that sarcasm? I sure hope so!

Don't listen to Marcy whatever you do. This woman is worse off than you and SERIOUSLY needs to grow some self-esteem.

I have no idea why she would advise you that "once should always be forgiveable". Since when do we get one free 'indiscretion pass' in marriage?

That said, my answer to you is:

I honestly don't know whether or not you should stay with your husband - no one does. I think that your marriage was not built on a solid foundation if your husband was cheating on you and lying to you before the marriage. I think most married couples would tell you that he will cheat again, and I'm worried that the reason he's admitting it now is so that he may gauge your reaction to see how you would act if he were to cheat now. I hope not, but that IS a possibility.

I think the best advice would be to ask him to go to counseling (with or without you).

I sincerely hope that however it works out, it works out well for you. I would hope that you would be with a man who values you, and doesn't feel the need or urge to cheat.

Good luck!

AnswerIt depends on the nature of your relationship. If those were formative years upon which you based your future marriage, upon which you based your trust, than the marker of marriage does not all of a sudden demarcate a breaking point where suddenly others were out of bounds. The couple at question makes those rules (implicitly or explicitly) at the time...and if you were meant to be a closed relationship at the time and this person has decieved and manipulated you for three years then this may be a serious matter for which you probably should find counselling if you wish to continue your relaionship. AnswerI would seriously wonder about his level of committment to you and your marriage, and whether he really meant what he said when he said those wedding vows.