What would you do if your 8 year old son insisted on going to school wearing the girls school uniform which consists of a white blouse and a grey pleated skirt?

Answer 1

Answer:if this is a serious request then you have to sit quietly with him and find out what he is thinking. It is not unknown for children to have gender identity problems. It might be worth exploring the matter further with a counselor. Answer:Do not assume anything; whether it is something that needs therapy, something that won't go away or a passing phase. The best way to handle this is to ask him "Why?" And LISTEN! If He thinks they're neat or pretty or look like fun, then you can probably just discuss society's accepted roles and how clothing is a part of that. Most boys will be a little let down, but give up pretty quickly. IF he doesn't give up or he gives answers like "but I'm supposed to be wearing that, I'm a girl" or insists on wearing girls clothes only, DO NOT BERATE HIM, DO NOT BEAT HIM! Find a therapist that is knowledgeable in gender issues. A regular therapist (with no experience here) will be no help and often cause more damage than doing nothing.

IF this is a large part of him ("I want to play with the girls, I don't want to do boys stuff, I am a girl") then trying to force him into a mold will make an angry and resentful child, possibly prone to addictive behaviors (for coping with externally applied stresses), problem behavior and even self-destructiveness. Many transgendered people say they knew from their first memory that something was wrong, that their body didn't match who they are (mind vs body.) Often it is remarked by parents and family that gender related behavioral differences could be seen as you as 4 years old.

The "just say no" answer is incomplete and needs to be supplemented by the knowledge that sometimes the only answer is to accept what the child says is true for them (not that broccoli is bad for them, or they "need" to scream and yell, but expressing who they are is a very important part of becoming healthy adults.) Please, take your time, listen to your child and understand that he (or she) may feel in someways totally alien to you and this MAY or MAY NOT be changeable. A truly loving parent will care less about what they neighbors will thing, what my pastor thinks, what the guys at the bar think and will work towards what their child needs. Which is NOT to have the "sissy" beat out of him.

Responce to Answer:

I want to say that the advise given above is the best advice you can receive and I hope for both you and your child that you please listen to it. My best friend was born physically a girl but has always known he is different. He went through a lot of struggles and a family that was torn between denial and supportive. He is now taking the medical treatment to make his outsides fit him and is happier then I have ever seen. Please listen to your child and if he says that he is a girl then please be understanding and take the steps to understanding all that that means.