When a good loving relationship constantly struggles with old baggage when should you give up?

Answer 1

Answer:

It depends on the circumstances, if there are children involved you should take into consideration how they feel about the relationship and the affects that it has on them. If not, in your relationship you should be 100% happy. Don't let something ruin it for you. It may be tough for awhile after the break but think about other options you would have if you didn't have that extra commitment there.

Answer:well...I'm actually going through this right now From what I know the old baggage will continue to gain pounds until... you fall... My advice and hopefully I use this as well, actually its one of 12 steps Accept what cannot be changed Have the courage to change what can be changed Have the wisdom to know the difference you asked the question and if you had to ask you know its OVER NOW

Prefered Answer: If it really is true love, this "extra baggage" shouldn't matter because you shoud be accepted for the way each of you are which includes where you each have been.

**Best Answer **Struggling as you describe is a part of being a couple. But let's start by defining some terms. According to Family Wellness - The Couple, a curriculum used by http://www.thinkmarriage.org , a couple is defined as: "Two people who have committed to each other for mutual support and individual growth over time." How long? That's the $64K question, and it's what you're really asking. But to answer it, we need to look a bit deeper.

There are a few key questions that need to be asked about what you describe. Is the "recurring baggage" a reference to unhealthy patterns, indicating a lack of healthy relationship skills,or a resistance to grow as an individual? Before defaulting to the latter, taking the low road of accusation, consider that often we don't know what we don't know, so it's hard to see where we need to change.

Skills can be learned if there is willingness; even willingness sometimes needs time. Don't bale out too soon, but know exactly where you are and why. To find out, check out thinkmarriage.org's website and look for Couples Checkup. There are also lots of other resources available! It's a great site with lots to offer to every category of relationships. Regardless of which you determine it is, a need for healthy skills or a need for individual growth, there are resources to help you navigate this difficult question and bring your relationship to a healthier place.