Which divorced parent with joint custody should receive your dependent children social security benefits?

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It should have been clarified in the divorce settlement. But if it wasn't, then the one paying child support should be the one to claim them. If neither of you are paying child support due to joint custody, here are a couple of options:

One of you can claim half the kids, the other claim the other half. If you have three kids (can't claim half a kid), then one year one of you claim two kids, the other claims one, then alternate the next year.

You can claim all of the kids, then alternate each year. One year you claim all of the kids, the next your ex claims them.
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In Custody

When children are born does both parents receive joint custody automatically in Virginia?

No. Generally, if the parents are unmarried the mother has sole custody until the father has established his paternity in court which he must do in order to establish his lega