Why did the chicken cross the road 999999999 times?
because his braces where stuck to a lampost.
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The timeworn and pedestrian answer is simply "to get to the otherside." Here are some creative and original answers: The chicken crossed the road. This fact is rarely di…sputed.But why did the chicken cross the road? No entirely satisfactoryexplanation has ever been agreed upon. The most popular reason ispurely that the chicken crossed to get to the other side. If thisis correct then many jokes have been spoiled or ruined. The most interesting question is who originally came up with theanswer. If it were the writer, then the question would be solved. However, at the Fourth Chicken Crossing Conference , held in thePoultry World Hall of Fame on May 10-12, 2000, a team ofdistinguished scholars met once again to consider this poultrymatter in depth. Unfortunately once again, no consensus wasreached. Here are some points considered and some possibilitiesbased on observations using chicken psychology tests, mediareports, forensic evidence, public and private investigations andhuman intuition, put forward to explain the behavior of thechicken. It is hoped that at the next conference further progresstoward a definitive answer will be made: . The chicken wanted to learn about its family history (i.e.which came first the chicken or the egg) so it crossed the road toget to the library on the other side. . The chicken was feeling confident, it was a nice spring day,traffic was light, visibility was good, all the other chickenscrossed the road so naturally this one didn't want to appearanti-social, contrary, and oddly different. . It was just a matter of time before it happened because, justas every chicken loves some chicken sometime, every chicken willcross some sort of road sometime. . Because it felt like it. . Because it needed the exercise. . Because it wished to avoid meeting the chicken it sawapproaching. . God ordained from the time of Creation that this chicken shouldcome into the world and should cross the road exactly when itdid. . Having spent days and nights searching its soul the chickenfinally decided that it had to cross the road and did so. . It all depends on what is meant by "why," "chicken," "road" and"cross." . It got bored. . It had a death wish. . It had already crossed the road 999 times that day and wantedto make it 1000. . It had always been intending to and finally decided today wasthe day. . It saw the rooster on the other side and wanted to getlaid. . It wanted a change of scenery. . It wanted to be famous. . It wanted to catch the bus into town. . It wanted to show it was not a chicken. . It wanted to show it was a mean chicken. . It was a very confused chicken. . It was caught by a freak gust of wind. . It was collecting experiences for its next book. . It was part of a chicken conga line which happened to becrossing the road. . It was trying out its new pair of roller blades on theasphalt. . It was trying to find its roots. . None of the other chickens crossed the road and this chickenwanted to be different. . The chicken crossed the road because it was daydreaming and didnot notice it. . The chicken had just had its head chopped off. . The chicken had prayed fervently all night and at dawn Jehovahhad told it to cross the road, and the chicken crossed the road,and Jehovah saw, and saw that it was good, and saith unto thechicken, Verily, thou art a rock of Chickrael. . The chicken was looking for love. . The chicken was running late and took a short cut. . The chicken was trying to make a difference. . The light turned green. . The Moon became conjunct with the chicken's natal Mars in itsfourth house. . The other chickens dared it to. . The other chickens told it to go away. . The Spirit moved it. . The time had arrived for this chicken to cross this road. . This chicken inherited genes predisposing it to crossroads. . This was a Mormon chicken and it was setting out on itsmission. . It got caught up in a scam offering free grain deliveries inexchange for a nude road streak. . All events in the chicken's entire life are fixed in4-dimensional space time and the chicken could not have doneanything else at that time (as we see things from within ordinaryexperience) than what it did; the chicken crossed the road becausethe chicken's crossing the road has been part of the eternallyfixed micro structure of the 4-d block universe from the moment ofits creation. . It was helping to stamp out bugs. . It was bearing the white chicken's burden. . It was fulfilling its Manifest Destiny. . It was doing God's work. . It was helping to make the world safe for chickocracy. . It was just following orders. . It wanted to prove to the squirrel that it could be done. . It wanted to prove to the opossum that it could be done. . It wanted to prove to the armadillo that it could be done. . What chicken? . Because it wanted to be hit by a car. . Because it saw the chicken crossing sign. . It was blackmailed by a bully goose. . Because if it didn't, there would be no question "Why did thechicken cross the road?" and many road-crossing-chicken scholarswould not be able to answer their calling in life and would beunsatisfied for their entire lives. . It knew something the other chickens didn't. . Because of the rupture in the space-time continuum. . I think the real question here is why did the road cross thechicken's path? . The road crossed the chicken first. Retaliation baby. . To go home. He had previously crossed the road to get to theother side, and now he was returning to where he originally camefrom. . To get his pension. You don't get it? Neither did the chicken,he wasn't old enough! . Because he thought if a zebra could do it, so could he. . Because some turkey said he was too chicken to do it. . Because all members of the Road Chickens Cult have to doit. . Just because he could! . To give everybody this silly joke to ask a zillion times......over and over, for the next 50 years! . He crossed "the road" because "the road" was a dirty, low down,loud mouth punk, and "the chicken" doesn't take orders from apunk! . It was a stunt being filmed by Peter Jackson for the movie "ToCross or Not to Cross." . Because the chicken was going to McDonald's. . The chicken crossed the road because it was a suicidal chickenthat wanted to die. . This chicken was in college and had to cross the road in orderto become a part of the sorority. . The chicken was tired of the side it was on therefore itcrossed over. . The chicken was on the reality TV show for poultry called"Cooked Goose" which is a poultry version of "Fear Factor" and thenext challenge was to cross the road. . If it crossed the road it would win a free car (and drivinglessons.) . It was running away from the people who wanted to eat it. . The chicken is a Rhode Island Red, of course it's going tocross the road. . It was only doing what the little voices in its head told it todo. . To get away from the Colonel. . Because it wanted to show off its guts. . Because it needed to. Why else would a chicken cross aroad? . Because philosophically, is a road truly a road if it was notto be crossed? And is a chicken truly a chicken if it were chicken?(No, wait a minute...) . Because a sorcerer told the chicken that he can no longer crossroads after an incident when his chicken-wife got ran over.However, he wanted to prove the sorcerer wrong, so he summoned upenough courage to do so. And when he was crossing the road, someAmerican saw the chicken cross the road. He asked himself "Why didthe chicken cross the road?" The rest they say... was history. . Because the referee shouted 'fowl'. . To get to the other side! . Because it was the pig's day off. . Well, I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but, thereonce was a chicken who stole a crucifix, and, while being chased bythe crowds, ran over to a river, rested the crucifix on it, andthen rowed it to the other side. That's why the chicken rowed thecross, in any case. . Because if the chicken didn't cross the road none of this wouldhave been typed and a so-called "joke" that has been around foreverwould not exist. But really, what's so funny about a chickencrossing the road? How would you like it if someone made a "joke"about YOU every-time you crossed the road? . So it could cause global warming on the other side of theroad. . So it could spread global warming alarmism on the other side ofthe road. . To vote. Yes, it is illegal for chickens to vote, andespecially for chickens to vote 17 times, like this one did. Butshe was a Democrat, so it's ok. Just like it's ok for illegalaliens, convicted felons, dead people, and fictional characters tovote. Unless they vote Republican. . because a farmer chased it with a knife. . Because its mom was behind it with a list of chores. . It wanted a job as a translator. . It wanted a job as a suicide assistant. . It wanted a job as a poultry-seller, it didn't likeitself. . Someone had done an egg fart on the other side. . It wished to set up an egg market on the other side. . Its psychic had said that, some time that day, it would crossthe road. . Because it had this really funny joke it wanted to write downbut it had to go to the dollar store to buy a pencil. . There was a Bureau de Change on the other side he wanted to suefor not being in Russian, Filipino, and Zulu. . All the other chickens were doing it, and it just wanted to fitin. . Because he had just killed his friend Paul, Paul was a memberof the chicken triad and the triad boss Alan has put a price on thechicken's head. The next day the chicken woke up and he decidedthat he would go out to the shops to buy some milk and cheese tomake an omelet for his dinner. On the way to the shops he decidedto take a shortcut through Westborough Ave. suddenly a black VW vanpulled up beside him and two armed chickens jumped out andchicken-napped the chicken (the chickens called Neil). The vandrove to a secret location and Neil woke up hanging upside down byhis feet? Alan was there and he told Neil what he would do to him.Neil was scared and he remembered that he had secretly hidden adesert eagle in a secret compartment in his feathers. So he pistolwhipped Alan and cut himself free. He escaped the secret location(which turned out to be a SPAR) and ran to the main highway. Thatwas where he crossed the road. . Because it wanted to warn everybody that the sky wasfalling. . It was stapled to the punk rocker! . Because it had lost its comb. Because everyone knows thatchicken, when it goes on vacation, only packs its comb; whereas anelephant packs its whole trunk. . There was a guy on the other side, holding a magnet. Hell, thatchicken did have a heart of steel. . It was a Supervisor, so it decided to show it off by displayinghis amazing talent. . The poultry, in perspective, did not transport himself acrossany road at all, in fact. That is merely a matter of perspective.You see, a fluctuation in the space-time continuum alters thetransiting rate of air molecules, and differentiates the particlesof discoloration in air to form a color projection of the poultry,the corresponding light patterns specialized to be perceived byonly the pupils of your eyes, as your pupils have a chemicalalteration which allows them to perceive a level of light on ascale of 1000 Watts. . There's some philosophy behind this, I guarantee it. OK, so*snore* . The chicken didn't cross the road, it tried to run away fromme. . The chicken didn't cross the road, I carried it across. . The chicken didn't cross the road, it ran across. . The chicken didn't cross the road, it got blasted to the overside by bagpipes. . The chicken didn't cross the road, that's just what it lookslike. . It was heading to the local jail to turn itself in forMurder. . Because the monkey was on the other side and the chicken wantedto give the banana to the monkey. . It was senile, I mean, why else would a kitten gloss thetoad? . Perhaps he had galloping confustikitus, which basically meanshe could not stop running. He could turn, but never stop. . Because the road was there. . Because it had restless leg syndrome and its therapist told itto walk whenever possible. . Because a Pickle Exploded in Japan. . Because a monkey was starving next to a gas station, and thegas station was out of barbeque potato chips, and the monkey didn'tlike the color green. This upset the chicken, and so it crossed theroad. . Well, here is an interesting fact... You see, my uncle wassitting at home one day, watching TV, when an ostrich popped out ofhis refrigerator and threw a rock shaped like the state ofKentucky, at my uncle's lamp. It missed the lamp and hit his petraccoon. The raccoon got very scared and peed all over my uncle'sstereo. This caused an electrical shock-wave, and fried his TVcircuit. My uncle got furious and ran outside, got on his unicycleand rode away to my house. He walked in the front door, hit mybrother in the head with a Pocahontas doll, and knocked him out. Hegrabbed my TV and headed for the door. I was eating my noodles whenthis all happened so I threw my fork at my uncle. It hit his earand he dropped the TV. The TV landed on a rake. The rake flew intothe air and hit a telephone wire, which made all the birds sittingatop the wire, fly away. There just so happened to be a huntersitting nearby, and seeing all these birds made him "get ideas" heshot one of the birds which fell out of the air and landed in abald man's ice cream. The man started to scream and burst intoflames! This man's pet chicken got scared of the man, who was nowon fire, and ran across the road. The chicken then got hit by asemi. . Because it wanted to state the obvious. . Because it wanted to cause a controversy as to why it crossedthe road . It understood the "Butcher" sign as a "Free Chicken Feed"sign. . In all honesty, this was a mob chicken. A rival mob waspursuing it and had it backed up against a road. Gathering all hiscourage (not very much, I mean he's a chicken) he ran across theroad, and thus saved his life. . Because the chicken was part of Team Edward and he was runningfrom Team Jacob. . Because it wanted to prove it wasn't one. (wasn't a"chicken") . For some fowl purpose. . To become poultry in motion. . It was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car ... . Because it had won 3rd prize in a raffle which was a free tripacross the road . To get to McDonald's . KFC was on the same side he was on . Because he/she was going to a rally . She couldn't read, and thought that the sign that said 'ButcherShop' said 'Chicken beauty parlor.' . To create an existential quandary in a quantum universe? . Because it felt motivated to do so . It was just going that way . Because it was running from new chicken-killing technology. . To watch the community T.V. . Because the Farmer wanted to sell it, so the chicken smelled aconspiracy and decided to "wing it" . To get away from the demon cockroaches!!! (they're everywhere) . To see the duck on the roof... . Because the aliens implanted a metal plate in its head thatmade it cross the road . Because the sky was falling! . Because the chicken wanted to go on a vacation to visit hisfamily at KFC. Alternatively: The great wolf chased the small animal through the deserted,barren, grassy park, it lunged for it, and missed by just a fewinches. It ran into a bush, and into the other side, it founditself in a street all of a sudden. Turning around, it backedcloser to the road, away from the mighty wolf. Trembling, it made adecision, all or nothing. He turned around, and ran across thetarmac. And that, is why the chicken crossed the road. Consider this: 1. Chicken is near a road, chicken is not near a road: 50/50chance. 2. Chicken considers road, chicken considers something other thanroad: 50/50 chance. 3. Chicken considers that road can be crossed, chicken considersother aspects of road: 50/50 chance. 4. Chicken considers crossing road, chicken considers not crossingroad 50/50 chance 5. Chicken crosses road, chicken does not cross road. 50/50 chance. So, a chicken only has a 3.125% chance of actually crossing theroad. In crossing the road, the chicken has beaten the overwhelmingodds that it would not cross the road. Because the odds were beatennot out of intention, but rather by statistical necessity, it wouldappear that the chicken followed the black swan across road aftertalking to SchrÃ¶dinger's cat. Motivations and philosophy: For all intents and purposes, the chicken probably crossed the roadto get to the other side. But then, perhaps we should look at thedeeper significance of this action. . Plato : For the greater good. . Captain James T Kirk : To boldly go where no chicken hasgone before. . Mr Spock : It is not logical for the chicken to havecrossed the road as it would mean expending more effort than wouldbe worth the energy value of the food he would find on the otherside. If he crossed the road, it could only mean that ColonelSanders was close behind and closing in on him. Captain - if we canapproach Colonel Sanders from the correct approaching angle, we maystop him from strangling the chicken and avert this impendingtragedy. . Richard Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. Irepeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. . Jerry Seinfeld : Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was thischicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? . Sigmund Freud : The fact that you are at all concernedthat the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlyinginsecurity. . Bill Gates : I have just released the new Chicken Office2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file yourimportant documents, balance your checkbook and eat yourneighbor. . Charles Darwin : Chickens, over great periods of time,have been naturally selected in such a way that they are nowgenetically disposed to cross roads. . Albert Einstein : Whether the chicken crossed the road orthe road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame ofreference. . Hillary Clinton: That's what I'd like to know. Why DIDthe chicken cross the road?! But this administration is operatingin secrecy, withholding important information from the Americanpeople, about how many chickens crossed the road and why theycrossed it. . Martin Luther King, Jr.: I have a dream! I have a dreamof a day, when ALL chickens can cross ALL roads without havingtheir motives called into question! . Ernest Hemingway : To die. Alone. In the rain. . Official Chicken Representative : Because he wanted to.Do you not think that maybe chickens have rights too? If you crossed the road no one would question you. . Hamlet: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: - Whether 'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous side; Or to take arms against a road of troubles, And by crossing end them? . Foghorn Leghorn : That chick, ah say, that chickencrossed the road on account of I was after her tail feathers. . Jules Verne: Much knowledge of our world, and the worldsbeyond, has been achieved through scientific curiosity. Under a 125F.At 36 degree North and 115 degree East, and at 03:00 GMT,Professor Chicken entered history as his Cannon propelled him through the road. . Ronald Reagan: I forget. . Homer Simpson: There was free beer on the other side ofthe road. . Morpheus (from Matrix): Neo. There is nochicken. . Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chickencrossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the roadand, by gosh, that was good enough for us! . Dr Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he crossit with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. Why hecrossed, I've not been told! . From the cast of 'Lost': Jack Sheppard: I don't know,maybe the chicken was just moving in that direction. Why does ithave to mean anything that it crossed the road? . John Locke: The Island demanded that the chicken crossat that moment. . Sawyer: Why are you so interested in the damn chicken,Colonel Sanders? Tired of mangoes? . Sayid: I know more about chickens and the use of themcrossing roads than I care to remember. I know more about how toextract information from the chicken than any of you. Allow me topractice my methods. I will find out what you need to know. . Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: Dude, did you see a chicken comethis way? . Colonel Sanders : I missed one? He was running away from Popeyes-
The chicken didn't cross the road because... - there was a KFC restaurant on the other side. - it was busy changing a light bulb. - there was no one there to egg it on. -… it didn't want to lay it on the line. - it was marching to the beat of a different drumstick. - it didn't want to be chicken pie. - a chicken crossing the road would be a fowl proceeding. - it was too chicken. - one day, he sat down on the side of the road and stared off intothe unknown distance. And he realized something. The grass was not greener on the other side. It was beautifulright where he was. Despite what everyone told him, the grass wasnot greener on the other side.
he moved one foot after the other and started walking.
9999999998000000001. Did the math on paper :P.. 999,999,998,000,000,000. Tha answer to 999999999 times 999999999 is. 9.99999998 times 10 to the power of 17 which is. 99999…9998000000000
1. maybe it had sexual attractions to another chicken on the other side of the road 2. if you ask this you will be downsized publicly for racism. 3. the magnetic force that ma…de the chicken cross the road 4. it was sick of the communism on his side of the road 5. let sleeping chickens lie
To get to the other side
Answer: to get to the other side.
Jokes are valued for the exciting little sense of shock, the new twist to your viewpoint, that comes with the answer. That is what makes us laugh. Or groan! A person asks y…ou, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' Of course you assume it is a joke. You try to think of a clever, complicated answer. Then the answer is given, "To get to the other side." Well, duh. Anyone should know that. You have been tricked into discarding the obvious answer and pursuing complex and convoluted solutions because you assumed that was what was expected. This joke is especially valued in our contemporary oral heritage because it teaches a lesson that applies to business, politics, and all human endeavors: "Keep it simple. Don't assume a complicated solution is needed for every problem. The obvious one may work just fine." The joke is also a joke because it can connect with practically anything. For example, you can say a person or shop on the other side and what man is doing or what shop is selling. It could change the answer but some are just weird. In this case, the joke is re-usable and simple to change.
Its a freaken chicken it can do whatever it wants
Yeah, it completely wasted my time. But hey, this pays the bills. Let me point you in the right direction for an answer......Google. smart one its called legs
Because it is a legand. It was always a chicken that people made a joke about . Probably cause it made more sense .
In Chickens and Roosters
The chicken crossed the road because he wanted to. What else would he cross the road for. :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
In Chickens and Roosters
all australian got to america or UK right know. so please peace off thanks
In Chickens and Roosters
Yea we live on an old country road and my chickens cross it all the time
To get to the other slide!
In Chickens and Roosters
Apparently, i just used the question for a joke, so why did thechicken cross the road? cause it wanted to know more why chickensare delicious