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Why do Atheists go to church?

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Atheists can be found present in churches during services for several innocuous reasons:
  • They are closet atheists who, for business or family reasons, must appear to be believers so as to maintain good relations and personal safety
  • They enjoy the music as music and the ceremony as pageantry
  • They see friends and relatives there on predictable basis
  • They like to sit quietly and practice their breathing, memorize poems, do mental math problems, meditate on Zen truths
  • Are keeping an agreement made with their spouses
  • To support all the other atheists attending (for whatever reason that they are there) and joke about the service later
  • To raise the hackles of the other parishioners by indicating the problems with the sermons simple views after the service
  • To get free coffee and cookies after the service
  • To be reminded af the gullibility of the general membership
  • To ignore the service (not sit, stand, respond, pray) as they were forced to participate as a child

Members of churches may think atheists go to churches for malevolent reasons to:
  • Steal hosts and holy water
  • Mislead children or corrupt others
  • Mock believers
  • Chant satanic spells
  • Because they are lost or know they are wrong and want to come back
  • Out of fear of the afterlife, personal problems or doubt
  • They are only pretending to be atheists
  • It is part of the atheist agenda (or other conspiracy) to destroy the West
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