Why would my ex from my teenage years contact me after a decade?

Answer 1

It depends on how your relationship ended. If it was good, he/she probably just wants to catch up and see how you're doing, and to see if you're attached or not. Or, believe it or not, your ex might want to talk to you about your advice on something.

I've been married almost 30 years, and I've contacted those I used to date when I was in high school in the 70's. Just because those relationships failed doesn't mean that I ever stopped loving them or stopped caring about what happens to them. The same can probably said for your ex. In my case, it wasn't just communicating with an old friend, but to apologize for being an immature a$$ at times when we were together. It takes a lot of years for some people to realize certain things. If the relationship ended on a fairly good note, then the reason is likely just contacting someone they care about. 10 years after teen or high school years is about the time people start feeling old and remembering about the good times in our younger days, especially if a current relationship isn't so great or that person is alone and without anyone to share with, or has gone through some life-altering event. Those of us who have good relationships should count ourselves lucky we have someone to share life with. Being alone is no fun at all.

Of course if you and your ex parted on a BAD note, consider leaving town for an extended period, changing your address and phone number, etc.

Seriously, don't sweat it. If you're married or in a current relationship with someone else, that person shouldn't mind if they're the kind of person that truly loves and trusts you. If not, then your relationship probably isn't as strong as you think it is. Insecurity about one's status in a relationship doesn't lend well for long-term togetherness.

Still, if you're uncomfortable, keep contact at a distance and lay out the status of your current relationship. But if it's someone you once loved and parted on a good note with, not responding would be just rude. Besides - you never know if your ex just won the lottery or not and is looking for an old friend to give some spending money to.

Of course there's the flip side - given the current financial mess, your ex could be looking to find out if YOU won the lottery or not.....

Find out first what your ex wants - just be casual about asking. "Why now after so many years?" blah blah blah - you get the idea.

When I say life altering event, in addition to accidents, operations and such, I also mean that person could be dying and want to say goodbye. Don't find out the hard way if that's the case or not by not doing anything and ignoring the situation, or I guarantee you'll regret until the day you die.